Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Today I Drive

Today I am taking my first driving class. I'm not feeling very confident about it. In fact I woke up several times in a hot sweat thinking about crashing into things.

What really made me nervous was when I was in Philly last week (my excuse for going MIB all last week) I had an experience at Chuckie Cheese that really shook my confidence. For all you foreigners out there Chuckie Cheese is a place for kids that has lots of games and rides for kids and uses a big rat for its mascot (it is as horrible as it sounds). Anyway I was at C.C. eating pizza and pretending my fruit punch in a plastic cup with a rat on it was really a dry gin martini in a clean martini glass when my son approached.

Lets play a driving game mommy Ill teach you to dive.

Apparently my son is a consummate driver who will teach me the ropes if I panic.

What could it hurt I thought. I gripped that wheel put in my coins and took my shiny yellow car driven by my avatar a big busted, blond haired, gal out for a drive. When it began I was whistling a happy tune by the end I could barely pucker.

Yes, by the time the game was over I was covered in sweat and my shiny new yellow car was nothing but a smoldering wreck. Don't even ask about my avatar she wouldn't have spoken to me if she could. But since she was trapped in the fiery wreckage I can only imagine her wrestling with her broken bones to flip me the bird before she became one with the computer cosmos.

I looked over and my son was jumping up and down clapping he had come in first place his avatar was waving a winner flag and his beautiful red car was shiny and proud.

So if today you hear about a ten car pile up in NYC caused by a student driver please don't tell my avatar I know she'll gloat.

17 comments:

Madge said...

driving a real car is about a zillion times easier then driving a video game car. you are going to do great.

Rebecca Ramsey said...

I've always wanted to try on life as a blond big busted gal!
I've never been able to drive well in those games--they must be rigged. At least that's what I want to believe.
I'll cross my fingers for you! You'll be a pro in no time!

Adrienne said...

Any five year old can beat me at a video game, but I wouldn't let one drive me down the street. Definitely not the same thing.
You can do it!

Tay said...

Oh man, those video game cars are HARD. I am terrible at those, but a good driver in real life. I'm sure you are going to be a fantastic driver. :)

Helen said...

As usual .... hysterically funny! Good luck, I can only imagine how this is going to turn out! Be safe.

Susan said...

Ahh, shoot, driving a real car is a piece of cake. Much, much easier than arcade driving. You were just traumatized by that dad blamed rat.

honeypiehorse said...

I hear you. But at least your son shows signs of being a good driver so it's not genetic.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh no! You'll be great! It's not nearly as fast as video games. Unless of course you're a cab driver.

April said...

you'll do great! don't stress!!!

Annie said...

Good luck - you'll do great!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

If a pimply teenagaer can do it so can you.....

Anonymous said...

I know that you can do it! I only had my mother-in-law teaching me and quite honestly, I think I'm now a better driver than she is. And I've had my license for.....11 days now LOL And yes, I had the nightmares and nightsweats too...but mine were about parallel parking ;) You'll do great :D

Unknown said...

Well, let's just hope you put some clothes on first woman!

;)


LOL! Your comment on my blog this morning gave me a chuckle.

Good luck with your learning to drive. NY sounds like a challenge to learn to drive in.

zipbagofbones said...

I can't drive video game cars, either. No worries. I'm sure it went well! And they don't typically start you out on the racetrack going 120.

Not Your Aunt B said...

How did it go?

Ali said...

I am late but just wanted to say I hope it went well.

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

Wishing you luck with your driving classes, you'll ace it, I'm sure.

 
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