Valium Please

Its wonderful and strange little B is back at school with me. A few days ago he was at deaths door today he is running around like a lunatic and playing with his friends. Its amazing how fast he has recovered. He still has blinding head aches at night but the doctor assures us they should be gone very soon.

While Little B seems to bionic I find I am not. I am exhausted. I have such dark circled under my eyes it is alarming and I feel like I could cry or yell at the drop of a hat. I have gained several pounds from the greasy hospital food and I cant seem to concentrate at all. I keep hoping getting back into a routine will help. Of course the holidays are this week so our routine will be anything but normal but I find we have a lot to pray about this year.

At Rosh hashanah there is time where they take people who have faced death this year and they gather them under taleets (prayer cloths) and say a special prayer for them. I never really noticed this until 9/11/01 where they had so many people gathered underneath the cloths that they had to get extra helpers to hold all the clothes. It was heart breaking. This year when I think of bringing B under that cloth my heart breaks again. I cant believe we nearly lost him. I cant imagine a world without him.

He's Home

Its been a terrible few days. Its all been a big blur of hospitals and terror. But Little B is home.

We nearly lost him. When I took him to the hospital he was non responsive he screamed in pain when touched and I grabbed him and ran through the streets covered in a blanket with no shoes and tried to grab a cab. The streets where blocked with UN traffic I thought he would die in the cab. He couldn't turn his head the light from the TV hurt and he couldn't open his eyes. His breathing became labored the driver shouted at me to run with him which I did.

When we got to the hospital they took him right in. We were next to a gun shot victim who screamed and screamed. Little B did not move or respond. They did a spinal tap the pain of which tore my hear out and within the hour the diagnosis came it was meningitis.

My hubby came and did not leave his side for the next three days. I went home to take care of little S.

I arrived at the hospital the next day to find B sitting upand feeling a little better. It was amazing but we were not out of the woods. He had boughts of pain so badly I just held him while he screamed.

Then the phone started ringing it was work. They were in a panic I was yelled at by my boss and treated so badly I still cannot wrap my head around the insensitivity. Sitting by my sons bedside I had to do a telephone conference. It was outrageous. The place I put in 9 years of love and caring and hard work treated me like...well you know.Im still trying to sort through all of that.

We were put in a isolation ward for three days. People had to suit up in scrubs mask and gloves to come see us. I still have no idea what his doctor looked like. Suddenly on the third day when we were cleared (his form of meningitis was not contagious) we were released.

Last night I went to bed with all my family under one roof. It was heaven. But at 11pm the screaming started again. The pain is terrible still but I am told it should lesson each day.

I cant believe this all happened. Your support was and is amazing. When I came home from the hospital and saw all those comments it helped me get through some very long nights.If it wasnt for my family and my wonderful hubby and all of you I have no idea how I would have gotten through it all. Thank you so much.

Thank You

I am so touched for all your kind words. Thank you so much. Your thoughts and prayers right now are so wonderful. This is so terrible I feel so lost. But knowing there is some support out there just helps so much you have no idea. Thank you.

My Poor Baby

Little B has been hospitalized with meningitis. Please pray for him.

Bad Mommy Strikes Again

This morning little S woke up snotty and coughing and just generally ill. So I said to myself shes not sick. She's just a little tried.

The teacher in me said "Hey bad parent that child is sick. You cannot bring that baby to school."

The mommy in me said "This is curriculum morning at my school so its not at all a good day or week for a sick baby. She's fine."

The teacher me said "Hey bad parent you are bad bad bad. That baby is sick. You know the drill."

I walked around the apartment getting ready and tried to ignore that she was hot and sweaty and she gunk leaking out of her eyes as the teacher Suzie began chanting "bad mommy bad mommy".

I tired but after several rasping coughs that sounded like she had been singing in a smokey lounge all night and several sad little sickly wails I had to throw in the towel and admit she was (a little)sick.

"I know" I thought "I'll ask Hubby that way it wont be bad mommy at all making the decision it will be bad Daddy." I walked into my bedroom and woke up my hubby cradling my sicky baby. "Honey do you think she's too sick to go to school?"

The baby let loose a stream of green snot and rubbed her cakey little eyes. "Oh not at all. " My hubby croaked not opening up his eye to even check her out.


The baby decided the only way this was going to work was if she made the decision for us. She crawled out of my arms and curled up on his chest and with a little smile went to sleep.

So once again able to put on my perfect mommy crown I snuck out of the bedroom and took B to school.

I hope my Hubby notices shes there.


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By the way I do apologise again for my bug stories. I will try to stop myself fwriting something gross for at least a week. I wont even blog about the strange bug on the wall last night that leapt on my hubby and tried to burrow in his face. So instead I will show great restraint and will cease and desist all bug stories for as long as I can.

Flash Back Friday- And More Bug Stuff

I deeply apologies for grossing everyone out. I am ashamed that I brought you with me on my trip through bed bug land. I took B to the doc where he got FOUR SHOTS!!! and they said it was probably mosquito's. Deep sigh of relief. But since I did take you there I thought I would share with you a little story that happened to me years ago. Since it is Flash Back Friday I thought I would give it a go. (Warning this story is not for the squeamish)

It was my first year of teaching. I was teaching a class of three year old. That year I had some trouble sleeping so I used to wear an eye mask to help block out the light and let me sleep better. I developed a sty in my eye. It was itchy and red and I thought it was from the mask. I called my Dad and he told me to get a sty kit from the drug store. I followed the directions. I held a hot compress to my eye for 10 min and applied the cleanser suddenly all this white stuff came streaming out of my eye but instead of traveling down my face it ran up into my hair. It was LICE!!!!! I ripped off my clothes and ran in circles screaming trying to get away from my self (that does not work). Apparently the lice had buried themselves into my eye lashes and had laid eggs there. The hot compress had hatched them and the cleanser had sent them running. My boyfriend at the time (yes I was a bad girl and was living in sin) calmly sat me down and picked all the remaining lice out of my eye lashed with a tweezers. After that we got briefly engaged go figure. I still have a scar on my eye lid and I think since that day I've been a little sensitive about bugs on my body. Go figure.

Anyway I apologies for that story too but I just had to share.

Dont Let the Bed Bugs Bite

Since B has turned 4 we've gone through lots of trials an tribulations. The bobo withdrawal. The constant beating up of his sister. But one of the highlights was the arrival of his bog boy bed. If you've been reading my blog for awhile you'll remember I never wanted B to leave his crib. The idea of my son wandering the apartment at night scared me worse than an alien abduction. But as he approached 4 I knew the time had come to let him out of his jail and give him free nightly access to the potty (among other things) as I hated getting up at 4am to take him to said potty. The arrival of the bed was joyous and highly anticipated. But over the past few days the bed has not been a joyous one. I began to notice little circular bites on his arms and legs. Yesterday he just sat on the floor scratching. His teacher took one look and proclaimed "Bed Bugs!"

Bed Bugs!!!! Good lord I thought and quickly googled them and this is what I found. Aekkkkkk!!!!! Excuse me while I have a nervous breakdown.

No way!

I ran home in the middle of the day and looked at every nook and cranny of that mattress. I vacuumed the walls washed everything put everything in zippered vinyl bags. And waited for the night. By the way I found no bed bugs. No brown bed bug feces smears (EEEEEEEKKKKKKK) no nothing.

Before he went to bed I made a diagram of his bites just to make sure no new ones would appear. At two in the morning I started to get the hebe jebbies. I imagined those bed bugs crawling over my skin. I imagined dust mites walking on me and just started to itch and itch and freak. I snuck into B's room with a flashlight and examined the bed. I looked at the walls I looked at the floor. No bed bugs.

I went back to bed and tried to put the fact that in two years your pillow and mattress becomes 50% heavier due to dust mite poop. And the fact that the average north American swallows 20 spiders a year in their sleep. (Yes I know I need to keep away from google.) I tried to sleep and eventually fell into a fitful snooze dreaming of large bugs taking over the world.

In the morning I stripped B down and checked him all. He was clear no new bites. I think its ok. I however will be rocking in the corner for the rest of the day.

Wordless Wednesday

This is B.


B is not happy

This is B's awful Daddy


This is B's mean mean Mommy







B is upset


Because B's evil Mommy


and B's rotten Daddy

have taken his pacifiers

away

poor B

Operation Bobo-Day 6- B Speaks

Hello my name is B and I am a bobo addict.

Its been a long six days without the bobos. At first I thought they were kidding when they talked about taking it away. I mean who in their right mind would live without the wonderful feeling of sucking on a piece of plastic. Maybe that's why mom is so tense. You should see her. All I do is grab my sister around her neck and take her for a drag around the room and my mom starts yelling. She's the one who needs a bobo.

They gave me a big boy bed (which they went on and on about) and in trade because I was a"big boy"they took away my delicious bobo's. What kind of trade is that? Its not like they gave me a rocket ship or some ATT stock. They wont even let me drive the car by myself. Nope now I just have this big ugly bed instead of my wonderful crib and a big gaping hole in my heart for my lovely bobos.

I have a plan. Since they are the meanest parents in the world who deny their only son his treasured bobo's I will drive them nuts. I'll start with sleep deprivation. I will spend the nights chanting , "I want my bobo." at different high pitches. I figure if I can hit the right note while complaining I can wake up my parents the neighbors and even all the local dogs. I think I can keep it up all night long if I have to. I've been training. I know I'm that good.

If that doesn't work I will find all different ways to abuse my sister and the dog until they have to give in. If they think the whole head lock thing is bad they ain't seen nothing yet. I've been watching pro wrestling behind their back. I've perfected my inverted atomic drop and my cobra clutch slam will really get them talking.

They'll be sorry they ever made me give up my bobos. Just you wait and see.

Operation Bobo-Days 4-5 Anger

Since the atomic smasher is quiet at this point a team of unemployed scientists were flown in this weekend to observe the affect of pacifier withdrawal on little boys and their surrounding environment. It seems that the waves of anger and rage caused by the effects of pacifier withdrawal are so intense they can be measured on a seismograph. My little B has scored a 4 a big enough wave of anger to topple buildings and have people in a ten mile radius feel the after effects of his subsonic whine.

According to the scientists my little B's rage has one main outlet, little S. B has engaged in several forms of little S aggression witnessed by the scientists.

• The cranial tress where he grabs his little baby sister around the neck and drags her through the apartment.
• The foot tress where he grabs her foot and drags her around the carpet until she screams.
  
• And the dermis jolt where a kick is directed to her cranium all the while yelling "I want my bobo!".
  

Scientists predict that these early tremors may eventually die out. But they admit the reverberating whineiness which consists of sonic scream of "I want my bobo?" and "Why can S have it and I cant?" and the "Bwaaaa ekk eggggg!" Loosely translated as "Bobo NOW!!!!!!" May increase in frequency during the next few weeks.

Operation Bobo-Day 2 Withdrawal

Yes my Little B is in bobo (pacifier)withdrawal. He hasn't cracked yet. I haven't found him sitting in a closet with six pacifiers in his hand and three in his mouth. But it is like one of those bad drug movies. B is sweaty and weepy. He hasn't started begging yet but its only a matter of time. I better keep a close eye on him or he'll end up in some preschooler pacifier house strung out on nuks and Playtex soothers. Scary.

Sunday B turns 4. Today is his school party. I spent $40 bucks on goodie bags (yes they're made of gold and contain lots of bling why else would they cost so darn much). I am also making chocolate cupcakes with his class. I'm not a big one for sugar but I keep hoping that seeing 10 four year olds hyped on chocolate and running amok thought the school t.p.ing the cribs and singing bawdy lyrics to the "Wheels on the Bus" will keep his mind off bobos.

Just in case does anyone know a good baby rehab?

Operation Bobo

Usually September 11th is a hard day for me. It is a day filled with some pretty awful memories of running a daycare in downtown Manhattan as all hell broke loose all around us. But this September 11th is a different for me. This September 11th is the day B stopped being my baby and became a big boy...sniff.

It all began yesterday. I went out and bought a little highly decorated felt bag and a gift wrapped present. The cook at our school joined me in my plan nicknamed Operation Bobo.

The cook gave B the bag and told him to fill the bag with all of his bobo's (pacifiers) and she would give them to the babies in the baby room. He would also get the present.

This all coincided with the arrival of his big boy bed.

We ran home and he searched the house for all the bobo's and put them in the bag. He sat on the couch gripping the bag and awaited the arrival of his big boy bed. When the bed finally came the surly truck driver was bombarded with photographs and songs about his big boy bed and was forced (I mean this guy was really not into it) to look in little B's bag of bobos.

The bed was covered in his pinkarific sheets that he chose himself and all the stuffed animals were arranged and B fell asleep bobo free.

Little S took B's old crib and actually slept most of the night. In the morning I discovered why B had climbed into S'c crib and they slept all curled up together. Please begin the awww sound now.

In the morning still bobo free B went to school and handed the bag over the the cook and received his special prize. And his Mommy as she proudly took this shot burst into tears and hugged him so tightly he nearly turned blue.

Wordless Wednesday

(Don't worry its translated at the end.)

The the
that was on but will the


giving up his
I dont know about you but I'm

By the way tonight is D day. Watch out!


Translation: The earth survived the atomic masher being switched on yesterday. But will the earth survive Little B giving up his pacifier. I don't know about you but I am scared.

Black Holes at 3am

Last night my little S did not sleep. Thus I did not sleep. I rocked her, I held her, I even begged her but apparently sleep is not her thing. So during the night I watched lots of TV. I caught up on Weeds which I love but not at 3am. I watched old reruns of Sex in the City and when I had exhausted everything else I watched the news. Bad idea. Are you aware that tomorrow some scientists are going to set off an atom smasher. According to some other scientists who don't like the idea a mini black hole could appear that could suck the earth inside out with four years. Arghhhhh!!!!! What are they trying to do to me? Who wants to know about black holes destroying the earth at 3am?

After dealing with this piece of fun trivia I woke up my little B at 6am. As usual he woke up with a big smile wrapped his arms around me. Looked into my eyes and asked, "Mommy how did a baby get in your tummy?" What? Are you kidding me? I'm working on two hours sleep here. But I had planned for this moment. I had the speech rehearsed. I knew when the time came I would be vague yet factual. It would be the start of a truthful interaction between son and mommy. Instead I mumbled something brilliant like "Daddy put it there." B looked at me looked at my tummy shrugged and said, "OK."

If I'm gonna deal with all of this I need more sleep.

Dinner and Keanu

I am really mad. Last night I was having a dream where Keanu Reeves was trying to pick me up. We were in some very clean very large house. (Don't ask just go with it) He was flirting and holding my hand. The next thing I knew we were kissing.

I said "You know I just had a baby my stomach is flabby and my boobs are leaky. I just don't think I'm your type."

Keanu said, "You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen. Everything about you turns me on."

I fell into his arms ready to give him my flower of love (thats the best I could do this is a family blog after all) when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I tore myself away from Keanu's embrace and walked to the door.

There was my hubby, son and dad standing in the door way. "We want dinner!" They whined. "But I'm here with Keanu he wants me. He thinks I'm sexy. Order out!"

"No! You cant be with Keanu you're a married woman you have responsibilities and you need to make dinner."

I was so mad I woke myself up turned over and yelled at my hubby, "Do you know who that was? It was Keanu Reeves! Make your own damn dinner!"

My poor hubby sat there looking stunned as I turned over in a huff and went back to sleep.

It's Bloggin Time

OK now this is getting serious. I don't know when it started to happen but my kids and my work are seriously getting in the way of my blogging.

I mean just now I had thought of the most witty intelligent thing to blog about and someone stoped by my office to give me paper work and talk about their child. How rude! Don't they know serious blogging is going on in here?

You wouldn't believe it I'm not kidding just now I started writing again and my child ran into my office to tell me the baby was bitten. What am I supposed to do about it? I'm writing here.

All day yesterday while I was sitting through a meeting I wanted to yell out, "Hey lets hurry this up I've got a great idea for a Wordless Wednesday I want to schedule! You're totally blocking my creative flow!"

It's bad enough I have to answer natures call every now and then and sleeping is a complete waste of writing time but I do see the point in it all I guess. But while I'm at work thats prime blogging time! I mean everyone knows computers are for blogging why else would they put it on my desk. I mean really!

I feel Yucky!

I feel yucky. I'm not sick. I actually had a full night sleep last night but I just feel yucky. My skin which normally sits in a nice location over my bones protecting my insides feels all creepy crawly. My feet which do great things like moving me from place to place feel wrestless and itchy. My brain which has been a great pal to me helping me do things like breath, feel and generally doing helpful things like allowing me to talk walk and essentially live is all over the place.

I'm not sure why but I just feel like &#*!

Maybe its because work has been stressful. New kids starting crying mommies saying goodbye to their little ones. Staff being grumpy.

Maybe its because my trip was unhappily memorable.

Maybe its because little B is turning 4 and little S is turning 1 in the next few weeks.

Maybe its because I'm on a diet that makes me grumpy and mean.

I don't know but I feel yucky.

I've found reading everyone's comments and blogs tends to make me feel less yucky. Not to be silly but I love you guys. Thank you so much for being there for me. If It wasnt for bloging I would be in a corner drooling and rocking back and forth. So here's to you my bloggy friends. Im not naming names you know who you are. And I'd hate to miss any of you. So take it and wear it with pride:

Wordless Wednesday: The Pacifier Addition

My son is a he has until to put them all in the I know it will be a I know there will be and even but I think I'm prepared

What We'll Remember

I spent the weekend with my folks. We did lots of great things we went to the zoo, the Aquarium we even endured the living hell I like to call Chuckie Cheese. However this trip will not be remember for touching a baby shark nor will we remember it for falling down at Sesame Place and having the nurse rat out a poor guy putting on his Grover uniform so little B would stop crying and producing a large amount of snot. Nope this trip will be remembered for my darling Hubby getting into a fight at the local "child friendly" pizza shop.

The local "child friendly" pizza shop called Mama Palma in Philadelphia where they serve juice in sippy cups to the kiddies. Where the owner told us to move our bleeping baby, when we placed her high chair in the wrong location in the shop. Who cursed us out in front of about 15 little kids. The "child friendly" pizza place where the owner attacked my hubby (who also had an attack of the machos and knocked a bunch of menus on the floor) and punched him repeatedly in the face while the waiters held him and grabbed a golf club to try to do my hubby in.

Yes we will remember this trip in a not so friendly way.

The morning after I lay with little B in his bed. I was wondering how badly my son had been damaged after seeing such violence the night before. I turned to him and asked "Sweetie do you have any questions about last night?" "Yes Mommy." he replied "I do have a question...." I caught my breath preparing for the worst. "Mommy does Superman swim in the ocean like Aqua Man?"

OK perhaps some of us wont remember this much at all.

Update: We did not call the police. As we left my Hubby was so mad he knocked over a table. We were scared he would be arrested. I just looked up reviews for this restaurant and apparently this guy has done this before. In front of children. Hubby is OK his hand is hurt and he is a bit banged up. I am banged up too.

We did not leave a tip :)

Question: Is it bad form to post things like this? Part of the reason I blog is to have people to talk and to have a record of my life but posting bad stuff like this and the guy in the hallway makes me feel funny. Should I just stick to humor? Is there etiquette on this?