Each time I walk past the five year old classroom in my school I am greeted with a large plastic pink thing sitting a top of coats and papers. It sits silently mocking me. Making me rethink who I am and the choices I've made in my life. Its sits and says yes I am all you will never be or have. It is...you guessed it... Barbie's cruise ship.
Barbie's cruise ship a large plastic monstrosity full of boating fun that makes me fight the green eyes demon each day. Barbies cruise ship, the pink boat that says you work over 40 hours a week you budget you scrimp you save but even if you win lotto you will never have your own cruise ship .
Today I walked past that pink boat from hell and I gave it a little shove just a small one. It tipped the boat of lost dreams just enough so I saw her. She was naked with matted hair, covered in stickers and green marker laying atop of an old stuffed monkey. It was Barbie battered and abused and clinging to that ship as though her life depended on it and I knew I may never have a cruise ship but at least I have my dignity...well...(I thought pulling the stickers out of my hair and noting the snot stain on my shirt) ... at least I didn't have to do it with a dirty old monkey to get a stupid boat.
I wanted the Barbie Vette. And a date with GI Joe.
ReplyDeleteI kind of detest things that make me think of who I am and the choices I've made. And now I detest that ship that makes you too thinky.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of thinky, I've gone serious today. Got a tragedy of education post on my humor blog. But there is a picture of a cute guy to appease some of my readers.
Barbie's got nothing on you. That plastic smile she always wears...I feel sorry for her, really.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it sitting there? Was it someone's show and tell? Does the ship need to "accidentally" get lost at sea?
ReplyDeleteDirty Old Monkey, he probably promised her the moon. Now she is just a stickered green shell of herself.
ReplyDelete:(
so funny
ReplyDeleteYep, at least we have our (partial) dignity. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're very right. I don't think I could sacrifice my dignity to a dirty old monkey.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice weekend! :)
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to go to the big pink plastic rehab clinic.
ReplyDeleteI used to look like the Barbster, and I call my hubbs "Monkey Man", maybe there is hope for her .
ReplyDeleteBarbie is a misfit and spent years in therapy trying to find her true profession while all along obsessed with her plastic boobs. sink that ship!
ReplyDeleteSuzie, I've always hated Barbie! Next time knock the ship off the desk and we'll pretend she went down with it to Davy Jones's locker! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! I would have just loved to see you do that! I rue the day my little B asks for a barbie!
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to have seen you take out your frustrations on Barbie as well. She can look pretty sad naked and with matted hair.
ReplyDeletei love this post. Somehow rather moving...poor Barbie. Shame. A sumation of our present world...until Obama that is!) However what I Hate is the person moaning about 13 comments.. because normally, NORMALLY, thay get BILLIONS! You comment tart you! My last post got 12 and I nearly fainted.
ReplyDeleteLove as per flecked with spittle of jealousy,
Your Cuz
I don't get the Barbie fascination. Never have.
ReplyDeletethat was great! Loved the post.
ReplyDeleteAfter spending the entire morning frosting a pink Barbie cake, I kind of hate her too.
ReplyDeleteHey Suzie, send me an e-mail and tell me how you got that cool slideshow thingie for your awards. Pretty please?
ReplyDeletewho's wants to pay for the upkeep on a cruise ship anyways? bah. no thanks. i'll take a couple margaritas on a dingy any day :-D
ReplyDeleteOh I'm giggling now!
ReplyDeleteI want to know how Barbie walks with that top load. Her back must kill. Imagine also, what is gonna happen when Barbie gets old. Nanna undie tuck ins, anyone?
ReplyDeleteThanks. That made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteWell, in fairness, Barbie probably never saw snot. Just Saying. hahaha!
ReplyDeleteOh how we wanted that Barbie dream house with the elveator!! But when Ken drob=ve off in Barbie's vette with a brunette...we were glad we were in our own lives, our own world!! Great post!
ReplyDeleteHappy Saturday blessings
kari & kijsa
OMG. That is great. I guess it does prove that even a big pink cruise ship can't buy you happiness...unless being naked and covered with stickers is the definition of happiness.
ReplyDeleteThat last sentence really cracked me up!
ReplyDeletethat barbie. i think her life is really very empty despite her seemingly endless wealth and perfect body..
ReplyDeleteThat really put my life in perspective for me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the naked Barbie dirty monkey analogy, I needed that.
I always knew Barbie was a dirty tramp!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I actually have a Barbie post in the queue ready to go one day that was inspired by this. Not as good as this - just inspired by it. Thanks for playing along today.
ReplyDeleteI'm over from Debbie's and I understand your hatred of the impossibly dimensioned one. I always wanted that 3 story dream house.
ReplyDeletelol - I really, really like this post! :-D
ReplyDelete♥ visit me at www.afiori.com ♥
Ha! How perfect.
ReplyDelete(Barbie is relaly nice, tho in her movies.)