My Appliances Are Revolting

It began quietly enough first thing in the morning blurred eyed I awoke poured myself some coffee from my lover..the coffee maker. The one I trusted and loved sometimes more than...others in my household. When I finished I rinsed out the carafe and wiped it and before my eyes my trust was shattered as the carafe broke around my hand. Although I was unscathed a little piece of my heart broke too.

Little did I know this was the beginning of the revolt of the appliances.

Next it was my radiator. My mean hissing ugly radiator. It waits for the warmest days and then turns on full blast causing us to switch on the air conditioner in the dead of winter. It chokes us with its stifling dry heat it bangs it rumbles. It is evil and it wants to suck all moisture from the air. I know it plotting waiting biding its time to get me.

Then it was the oven. My reliable little range. I went to turn on the gas and was struck in the eye by a flying knob. After searching my postage stamp kitchen I finally found the culprit. I felt victorious but it was only the start. I turned on the oven and inserted my meatloaf. I thought I could see a twinkle in the gas ranges eye but I chalked it up to the flying handle. 30 min later I checked the meatloaf and to my horror and dismay it was cold and raw. I switched it to the broiler not willing to be bettered by my oven and the whole broiler draw came apart in my hands.

I am scared. I know they area all out to get me. I'm not sure if I can even trust the toilet anymore.