The Beast Returns

The evil beast that had previously possessed my son seems to have jumped ship and is now residing in my daughter. I began to realize it during the last few days when she began throwing temper tantrums of such magnitude that even dogs stop and stare at my daughters high pitched shenanigans.

A wonderful example of this was yesterday at work. Work is tense to say the least. Parents are loosing their jobs by the dozens and tempers are high. It was the end of a particularly tense day and I was very glad to be on my way home. Little S toddled out of her classroom looking so cute with a big smile of her face. I gave her a hug and when I went to put on her coat the beast emerged.

She began screaming and kicking and crying and howling. I put her down on the floor and the real show began. She arched her back, kicked and flailed. Parents craned their necks to see who the bad parent was with the insane child and low and behold it was me. Dr. Mom who is supposed to be a child expert helplessly watching her daughter go insane in the hallway. Even B stood watching his mouth open in awe and horror at the beast which used to be his sister.

Now I'm just waiting for the projectile vomiting and her using telepathy to push a man of the cloth out the window and well be all set.

Snow Day

Its a snow day and instead of being asleep in my cosy bed I pushed my stroller through the fresh snow sweating and grunting along the way and lugged my family to work. Why you may ask? Good question. Well,I needed to let everyone know school was closed, feed the hamsters and fish and return a few emails...

OK that's all an excuse.

Here the truth Ruth.

The idea of spending another full day with my wonderful little kiddies alone trapped alone in the house for the day put me in such a panic I would have gotten here if giants had been lobbing boulders from the sky. I would have lugged my stroller here if bats had filled the street with a sea of guano.

Yup, its true.

I know I will have to go home eventually. I know I will have to face the stir crazy kids who will become truly scary at 4pm when the idea of spending one more hour with each other and me will make them scarier than a cat in a washing machine, then a four day old tuna fish sandwich in July then Dolly Parton first thing in the morning with no make up (sorry Dolly).

I know. I fear.

But for now...I have work to do.

An Infomercial of Lies

Last night B was on a screaming jag. For some reason he was very worked up that the water next to his bed that I had just poured was not fresh. So he sat in his bed crying and screaming at the top of his lounges scaring the poor baby out of her skull. I offered to change it for him I offered to have him change it. I held him I rocked him. I yelled I threatened but to no avail.

So my hubby and I sat in the living room listening to the screaming trying not to freak out while playing with the TV volume so we could hear anything above the ear splitting screams. When suddenly we heard:

Are your children making you crazy?
We both turned drawn to the magical voice on the TV

Do you feel like you are living in a battle zone?

We both nodded in unison. Eyes wide

Are you sick of the back talking, arguing? Do you wish you could just have your sweet child back?

Yes Yes ! We chanted

We have the solution to bring peace back to your family again.

We grabbed each others hands nodding and smiling. Yes they have the solution it will all be OK.

Just call 1-888-badkid

Before I knew what I was doing I had grabbed the phone. I dialed I knew would do anything they said military school, join the Moonies or shave my head. Heck I'd even launch him into space.

Hello you've reached 1-888-badkid are you ready to bring peace to your home?

We are! We shouted. We Are!

Are you ready to be friends with your child and stop the shouting and end the threats?

We are! We are!

So how old is your teenager?

ummm..4

Oh umm this program is for 12-18 year olds.

...damn.

..probably couldn't afford it anyway

And It Still Goes On and On

Its so hard to blog these days. You would think all these weeks later things would have calmed down on the meningitis front but they haven't. My staff is still being nuts every day there is a new freak out. The Department of Health has been getting calls from random staff members every few days alleging all types of things which means constant random inspections at work. Every day the stress continues and gets worse. Since Little B has been in the hospital I don't think there has been one day where the stress hasn't been out of control. The staff thinks I am lying to them about calling the DOH they think I have inside info I am not sharing. It's out of control and I have no idea what to do anymore. Its crazy!

I have to keep reminding myself that I am not responsible for my child being sick. The meningitis germ is not my pal who I invited to invade my sons body. I am just a gal who had a sick son and now is put in the very uncomfortable place of being the villain. I have no idea why.

I think as bosses go I am a very nice one. I believe that since work is where you spend most of your time if its not fun then it means life is not fun. I have tried to create an open and inviting environment where peoples voices are heard and people laugh. Maybe that was my mistake this type of craziness would never happen at McDonald's.

I tried to follow Mark's Salinas's advice about picking a special hour to worry and setting that hour aside for worries instead of letting it take over all the time but its really hard these days as I feel I am being attacked constantly at every angle. I am trying to remember to breath and I know or I hope this will all be just a bitter memory months from now.

Black Holes at 3am

Last night my little S did not sleep. Thus I did not sleep. I rocked her, I held her, I even begged her but apparently sleep is not her thing. So during the night I watched lots of TV. I caught up on Weeds which I love but not at 3am. I watched old reruns of Sex in the City and when I had exhausted everything else I watched the news. Bad idea. Are you aware that tomorrow some scientists are going to set off an atom smasher. According to some other scientists who don't like the idea a mini black hole could appear that could suck the earth inside out with four years. Arghhhhh!!!!! What are they trying to do to me? Who wants to know about black holes destroying the earth at 3am?

After dealing with this piece of fun trivia I woke up my little B at 6am. As usual he woke up with a big smile wrapped his arms around me. Looked into my eyes and asked, "Mommy how did a baby get in your tummy?" What? Are you kidding me? I'm working on two hours sleep here. But I had planned for this moment. I had the speech rehearsed. I knew when the time came I would be vague yet factual. It would be the start of a truthful interaction between son and mommy. Instead I mumbled something brilliant like "Daddy put it there." B looked at me looked at my tummy shrugged and said, "OK."

If I'm gonna deal with all of this I need more sleep.

Tests, Tests,Tests

Today is the big test day. Does my baby have epilepsy, a brain tumor or is she just a silly little baby trying to freak her mama out with all this shaking stuff?

The word test is a scary one it brings to mind awful childhood memories. The word test has freaked me out through out life. I've taken standardized test in elementary school and freaked out so much I gave myself my first tattoo by accidentally jabbing myself in the leg with a pencil. Pregnancy test. Ohhh a really scary one. I took several in high school (yes I was a bad girl) thank goodness they were all negative I was not a very responsible teen. Anyway I would much rather be taking this test for my baby but since I cant I decided to do a bunch of tests myself. I found out

I am a Supreme Nerd. And I should apply for a professorship at MIT now!!!.

I am
76% Geek

A personality test says my disorder rating is

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low

Career Inventory Test Results Extroversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 63% Orderliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 63% Altruism ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Inquisitiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% You are a Persuader, possible professions include - entertainer, recruiter, artist, newscaster, writer/journalist, recreation director, librarian, facilitator, politician, psychologist, housing director, career counselor, sales trainer, travel agent, program designer, corporate/team trainer, child welfare worker, social worker (elderly services), interpreter/translator, occupational therapist, executive

I found out I am not addicted to the Internet .
You are an average on-line user. You may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but you have control over your usage.

OK that's me a geek, nerd, newscaster with multiple personalities ,not too paranoid and not really hooked on the Internet.

Lucky me.

Now lets see how little S does.

What Me Worry?

Things I ended up worrying about at 3:30am when Little S decided to scream instead of sleep:

If the tomato sauce I used last night was contaminated with some horrible disease and we would all die in the night and it would all be my fault. It made a weird popping sound when I opened it and it was in a can. I knew I should have thrown that out.

What is someone against my will decided to use the pedi egg (its sort of a bottom of the foot cheese greater) on a sensitive parts of my anatomy? Yes I was watching an infomercial. The balloon thing really freaked me out.

Never ever sleeping again.

Getting fatter and fatter until I would only be able to fit into was brightly colored moo moos with large paisley patterns.


Brain tumors, epilepsy, EEG tests, and something being very wrong with my little S.

The test itself (its on Monday). I found out they will wrap her like a mummy in gauze to restrain her. Put electrodes all over her head and have her try to sleep. They may give her a sedative if she freaks out. I hope there's one for me too I'm gonna need it.

Little S dying to to a rare allergy to the sedative.

Loosing my job do to excessive blogging.

Britney Spears.

Face it I'm a mess!

Panic Come On In Make Yourself At Home

I tried to upload my Worldess Wednesday. But no pictures would load. I guess the fates were telling me to just vent a little and perhaps see if anyone had any advice. Its not like me to bitch (yeah right) OK maybe I have a little this week I've talked about diapers, pasta and rats. Yes it indeed has been the week from hell and to add to it was my Little S's 9 month check up.

S has been having little seizures for the past month. She stares into space for about 20 seconds and then shakes her head back and forth like she is cold but it goes on for about 10-15 seconds. She wakes up as happy as can be and keep doing whatever she was doing before it occurred. It was happening 4-5 times a day and now maybe 4-5 times a week.

At this check up it seems she has stopped growing and gaining weight. To me she looks a lot bigger. She is crawling and even standing a little. She is under the 10th percentile for height and weight. She is a wee little thing.

The pediatrician thinks we need to see a pediatric neurologist. Words like brain tumor have been used. It could also be nothing. It is a least a six week wait to see the neurologist and in the mean time all my hubby and I are hearing is brain tumor. Like Bobby hears in the Brady Bunch when he hears "Mom said not to play ball in the house". So like all good parents we have jumped right to panic.

Maybe this is an elaborate play on S's part to get more attention. In that case its worked. Maybe its the fates just trying to make us all crazy.

Anyone hear of anything like this? Six weeks is a long time for a repeating sound track to play in my head.

I Should Have Seen It Coming

Last night B was determined to throw me over the edge of sanity. All the way home from work he was screaming that he wanted macaroni and cheese from Boston Market. Apparently he would be happy to only eat this for the rest of his life. I however had made pasta which was terribly terribly wrong.

I got him home and the crying and whining continued. B then got it in his head that baby sister had pushed him. I explained she was just a baby and couldn't locate her feet let alone push him. B declared he HATED HER!! After much calming I bribed him to eat his pasta by giving him 3 taco chips. I left the room for two seconds to draw a bath and heard wild happy screeches coming from the baby. When I returned she was completely covered in pasta. B had apparently thrown handfuls on her and she thought it was great. I did not and when I peeled the cold noodles from her body I found that she had broken out in red spots wherever the pasta had touched. B went straight in time out which made me an evil mommy. When I returned B declared he loved Baby Sister and forgave her for the bulling she had wrongly submitted him to.

So it was bath time. B got in first. I bathed him and we talked about the wonders of the universe. Where fish live and if there was a shark in the bathtub. He asked me if boys could have babies and I explained it was just a girl thing but he could be a great Daddy someday . I then bathed the baby. After a little while I took her out and got her all dressed and warm while B finished floating around and playing with a small bucket (how could I have not seen this coming) and within seconds the baby was soaked head to toe. Yup. That'll teach Baby Sister to push him. Baby sister did not like that so much and started to scream. B started to jump up and down and scream. The dog began to bark and I was out of wine.

If stress could help you loose weight I would look like Kate Moss right now.