I Think Youre All A little Sick

I am disturbed.

Last Friday I posted a picture of this man:

Sportacus.

As you know I love Sportacus. I get it maybe he's not every ones type even though in reality he looks like this:
Ah huh yeah...


But I was amazed. Yes, I will go so far as to say I was shocked concerning the conversation about Blues clues.

How could so many of you pine for Steve? When he has been replaced with Joe

Just look at this beefy guy. He's cute funny and he looks good in a sweater.




Where as Steve is umm Steve.


Now many of you said I need to get out more. That may be true. Maybe its a little sad to be debating who is hotter Steve or Joe. Maybe it takes a sick mind to fantasize about Sportacus while my kids hit each other with blocks.

But at least we are not debating Franklin


vs

Little Bear



Now that would be sick.


Although Little Bear would totally win hands down

Must Be A Kid Thing

As it was a long and whiny weekend I made sure the kids went to bed on the early side. I think the bed time is a bit too early for B but he can play as long as he doesn't wake the baby or leave the room.

Last night after about an hour I checked on the kids and saw this:

Warning: This is a reenactment. B does not becomes green and rips his shirt when angry. Well at least not in the past two months or so.

There was B playing happily.

About an hour later I heard a thump.


When I walked in I saw this. He just played until he fell.

I tried to imagine that happening to me.

Oh blogging is so much fun. Wordless Wednesday Weee!!! Cant wait to post this Barbie photo..zzzz

I love standing in line for the post office. This is so great. Must get additional postage...zzzz

This is the best sandwich must put on mustard please pass the mayo...zzzzz

Nope. Must be a kids thing.

Not At All Wordless Friday

Since yesterday was such a bad day I thought I would post about something that is near and dear to my heart.



Sportacus



I love him so.





Ok I hear you saying yuck but your wrong. No yucky guy could do this



In case you dont know this guy he is Sportacus the lead hot guy in the kids show Lazy Town. At first I didnt notice him. All I heard was the singing and general high pitched sounds that acompany kids shows but then he did a flip and I was hooked.



Ahh Sportacus. Its been so long since I've seen you. I think they have moved your time slot. Its been too long since I have gazed upon your bulding bisept.




Sponge Bob will never be able to hold a candle to you

The Walk

This morning B woke up with a big smile on his face.

Mommy he announced I am going to walk to school today.

Terrific I thought. I have a 50 pound bag of sand to bring to school (Yes I have big bags of sand in my apartment.) I can finally get rid of it and bring it to school in the stroller.

B put on his red car boots.

Mommy I am going to wear my boots and walk all the way to school

Great.

So I get them dressed they eat breakfast while talks about his monumental trip 6 blocks to school.

They put on their coats

I put baby S in the stroller

I put the 50 pound bag of sand in the stroller

were off

As we reach the corner B begins to cry.

Mommy I don't want to walk anymore

Sweety you're doing a great job and I have a 50 pound bag of sand in there. You'll have to walk

MOOOOOOOOMMMMYYYY I don't want to walk! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Sweetie, please walk I can't carry a 50 pound bag of sand and push the stroller

I don't want to walk! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

B you need to calm down

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't wanna walk! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

B please

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

OK I'm counting to ten

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't wanna walk! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

People walk by and shake their heads. I feel the need to shout "You handle it then Mr or Mrs. Perfect Parent cause I'm trying my best!" But I don't.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't wanna walk! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

I try to breath slowly while pushing the incredible heavy stroller dragging along my hysterical child and try very hard not to:

scream (I wanna I really wanna)
freak out (which I am..inside)
slap him upside his head (which would be bad but very satisfying)

Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

B I start to get a little louder. Cut it out. Its not far to school

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't wanna walk! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

B STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!

He pauses looks at me looks at the stroller....

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't wanna walk! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm done having children. Two is my max

Check please

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just thought I'd add this in as I am feeling a bit needy right now.

I don't know what it is but I am really loosing it today. I don't know if it was the walk with my rotten I mean lovely son or work stress but today I just wanna cry or scream. Every time I turn around it seems to be another crisis and I've had it. I want to run away and pull the covers up.

I'm upset

I'm sad

I'm very stressed out

Just thought I'd complain.

Thanks

Oh NO! Not Another Meme

I have been tagged. I'm not a good meme person. I tend to take the awards and run but since I've been tagged with this thing repeatedly I thought I would do it.

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. If I didn't it's probably because I just didn't feel like bothering you. (p.s. I didn't write this.)

1. I have a cut on my finger that is driving me crazy. I have covered it with several Dora Band aids but it has not helped.
2. I keep a switch blade in the draw by my bed. Its true I do. You never know when you can foil an alien abduction. So I am prepared
   
3. I like eggs but they creep me out a little. I always feel like I may end up munching on a baby chicken.
4. I used to be really scared of statues. Especially Greek and Roman ones. I'm better now
5. I love the number 5. Its even hidden in the tattoo on my shoulder.
6. I have a cut on another finger it does not have a band aid on it cause I'm tough.
7. I was signed up to be on the space shuttle. They took me off the list when I turned thirty. It hurt.
8. I feel I am slowly turning into my mother.
9. I am addicted to chap stick. Its embarrassing. I can't seem to get through a conversation without lathering the stuff on.
   
10. I also have a cut on my hand. It hurts too. Once again no band aid. Your impressed right?
11. The only time I've been away from the kids over night was when I was in labor with my second baby.
    
12. I've have had some spicy fantasies about Sporticus from Lazy Town. He's HOT!!!!
    
13. I don't know how to drive
14. I'm going to learn how to drive this year. If I can find my social security card, renew my passport and pass the test.
15. I've never been on a motorcycle.
16. I love to read crap. Paranormal Romance is my drug of choice.
17. Geese make me nervous. They are really big and I feel like if one runs at you they all will and you will be doomed!
18. I hate Swiss cheese
19. The band aid on my finger is wet and its not really helping much.
20. I am a good cook. I am! Don't look at me that way. Its just that sometimes I choose not to be.
21. I smoked for 10 years now even the smell makes me want to hurl.
22. I am very good at dreaming. If there was a contest for the best dream maker upper it would be me and I would win the prize.
23. Mirrors creep me out. I am always afraid my reflection is doing its own thing or someone else will be looking back at me.
24. I am sure I wont think of 25 things boy 25 is a whole lot of stuff to think of. I think 24 is pretty impressive.
    
25. I did it 25!!!! Last fact... umm...I love dry gin martinis!!!!
26. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So that is my list and here is my award.




And here are the people that are going to groan and say, "Oh no not a meme. Arghhhhhhh"

Tag you're it!

Ren

The Mrs.

Debbie

honeywine

Kristin H

Erin, Nick and Merrick

Kmommy

Cat

Queen-Size funny bone

Kate Coveny Hood

Not Your Aunt Bea

Sarah

My Wonderful Men

Susan

tiff

adrienne

Heidi

Rebecca Ramsey

Mark

WillThink4Wine

Heather

April

Chimera

TattingChic

forgetfulone

Juggs, Boobies and Bosom

My son has become obsessed with my boobs. He wants to look touch and talk about them all the time. I have no idea why. I know I am one sexy mama but really this is nuts.

When he was younger he was a non discriminate boob feeler. He would toddle around and suddenly it was like someone turned on a large magnet. His little hand would fly across the room making a B line for the closet pair of boobies he could find. It was embarrassing but since he was so cute he'd get giggles and some awws. Luckily this habit stopped around two when the sticky finger factor began to loose its charm.

Or so I thought.

Now being with him is like being on a date in high school. I am constantly fending off the roaming hand. We are sitting down watching TV he snuggle up he gets closer and closer until I feel a little hand slowly worming its way down my shirt. I pull his hand out. I talk to him about boundaries he nods looks serious and then a few minutes later I feel that cold little hand again stealing down my top.

The conversations are also a little uncomfortable. We were walking down the street and he said Lets run Mommy. Oh wait you cant your boobies are too big. Or as he shouted out in Wallgreens the other day. Mommy I love your boobies!

Thanks babe.

I hope this is not setting the tone for the rest of his life. I can imagine him running up the tab on magazines like jugs and big boobie web sites. I'm sure he'll be a regular at Hooters. But the ones I feel really sorry for are his future girlfriends. They'll need to wear steal tops and spikes if they want to go out with my son and his roaming hands.

One things for certain though I'm sure they'll be stacked.

The Meatloaf From Hell

I cook just about every night. When we had no kids I would cook once a week. It was a big event. I would buy a great cut of meat research new and exciting recipes and create a romantic and wonderful meal. Since LAK (life after kids) I cook most nights. I have a rotating bunch of recipes that are quick and easy and everyone seems to like. But one night a week I make my meatloaf. When I make my meatloaf I am greeted with comments such as:

I hate this!

This is yucky!

Oh no not meatloaf!

My Hubby smiles but when he sees my meatloaf his eyes go dead. Its as if my meatloaf has sucked the soul right out of him.

Why you may ask do I make this pathos inducing meatloaf? I guess the simple reason is its easy and we can all eat the leftovers the next day. (Yes there is two days of soul sucking meatloaf night.)

I guess the other reason is I HATE COOKING EVERY DAY!!!! Maybe I am secretly punishing everyone for making me cook after a long days work. Why is it my job? Who made me the cook cleaner and everything else? Maybe someone else who doesn't make the meatloaf from hell weekly should learn how to cook.

So in order to spread the evil specter of sadness that is my meatloaf I thought I would pass along my recipe.

Suzie's Soul Sucking Meatloaf
1 pound of clinically depressed ground chicken
1 small sad little onion
1/4 of a cup of heartbroken red pepper
1 lonely egg
lots of despondent ketchup
plenty of dejected bread crumbs
and a good dash of grief stricken worcestershire sauce and some pensive soy sauce

Grab and knife and sigh be sure to suppress sob as you chop and saute the onions and peppers
slap everything in a chipped and ugly bowl (be sure to mutter under your breath as you do this)
knead slop with hands while complaining bitterly about cooking
put into a greased meatloaf pan while shaking head and slowly with feeling
top with ketchup, bread crumbs and some Parmesan cheese
add tears if available
cook at 400 for 20 min
use time to mutter and complain quietly
put in broiler to crisp top for last 10 min
serve while hot and despondent

Watch the soul sucking fun begin

We Interupt This Blog

I have gotten really into Facebook these days. I know I originally hated it but now I'm hooked.


We interrupt this blog post for fast breaking news story from Suzie's school:



It has been reported that one of the parents came to school this morning to drop off her two kids aged two and 10 months. The mother bent down to take her baby out of the carrier she was wearing when her two year old came running over and bent in as to give the baby a kiss. Instead of a kiss he took his brothers nose in his mouth and sucked up all the snot from his brothers nose . As he ran away laughing he was seen licking his lip in triumph. This was followed by mass gagging and shouts of Ewww! and NO WAY!!! from observers.


We now return you to our regularly scheduled blog post.


Maybe in a few years she'll return I hope so I miss her.

Today Is the Day

I am so excited today is the day Barack Obama is going to take the reins of our country. It restores my faith in the American people. I know you all don't agree with his politics but I gotta tell you I'm bursting with pride.


I was so excited I spent the morning drilling B on presidential things. On the news they showed a picture of this:



I said B that is the White House where the President will live. Can you say White House? It came on again. What is that? I asked The White House he answered proudly.


My husband stepped into the room. B pointed and yelled look Daddy there is the White House where Barackobama (Yes its all one word in B land) will live.


My husband paused and looked at me. No Honey he said that is the capital building. The White House is down the street.



Then this guy comes on the tv


Look its Barackobama B shouts out.

Well... ummm....Happy Inauguration Day anyway!!!