Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Truth About Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark

Since I have reached the age of 40 I have been hiding under a rock trying to make it go away. Although hiding under the rock didn't make 40 go away I did have the opportunity to hear some good under the rock gossip (or make some up). This gossip involves someone who is ((gasp)) older than me Mr. Dick Clark.

I heard that Dick (although he is at least 102) suddenly started to age. He had been holding off aging for the last 50 years by drinking the blood of small children and animals. But when that no longer worked he invested his fortune in finding a cure to aging. His team of evil doctors came up with a plan. All he needed was a young good looking down and out guy. He found Ryan Seacrest.

Ryan was living under a bridge and was desperate for cash. Dick gave him an out. He could have Dicks amazing fortune if he agreed to give Dick his body and he took Dick's. He told Ryan that as long as he kept up a good blood supply he could live for a long, long time. He would even have a young wife a mansion, a tremendous fortune and a swimming pool. Ryan said OK. The switch was made and Ryan is now in actuality Dick Clark.

Dick (in Ryan's body)went on to a mass his own fortune and now lives once again in the lap of luxury and has at least another 100 years to go in his body before its time for another change.

Hey I'm 40 I'm allowed to be crazy if I want.

Maybe that should be my tag line.

(By the way not that I didn't love your suggestions but I'm leaving the tag line contest open for another week or so. Hey I'm 40 I can do whatever I want!)

18 comments:

Cat said...

This does explain a lot about Ryan's wisdomous eyes and giant, denture-sized teeth...

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

I like your own: "Hey I'm 40 I can do whatever I want" as a tagline.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Now it all makes sense.

Dr. Grumbles said...

you know...now that I think about it... hmmmm

forgetfulone said...

40 isn't so bad, right? I think that the "crazy" line would be a great tagline!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

crazy is what crazy does

Susan said...

...and crazy is in the eye of the beholder.

MrsM said...

I don't remember what show it was on, but it was once implied on TV that Dick Clark devoured children's souls to keep himself young.

I'd believe it.

Ryan Seacrest just does it for funsies, because he is the second creepiest guy ever. The first being Elijah Wood.

*Shudder*

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Too funny! Sounds like a great book!

Maria said...

That is a little messed up, but unbelievably, believable, lol.
Happy Belated Birthday!! Don't worry, 40 is the new 30 so I hear : )

Not Your Aunt B said...

It's a conspiracy!

TattingChic said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! That is a good one! I think I've seen your make reference to this little pact before, LOL! You are too funny!

Cookie said...

I always wondered about Dick Clark. Thanks for letting me in on his secret ;)

Pam said...

Don't know of this Ryan Seacrest, but Dick Clark, god, I remember him on our early Australian T.V days with the compere stuff. Is that guy still alive!!Probably injected/ingested formaldehyde in the 1960's.

adrienne said...

That reminds me of something I heard on the radio this morning:

Today you're as young as you'll be for the rest of your life. Act like it.

MoziEsmé said...

My husband has you beat on 40 by a few days - his bday was August 1. There is definitely something weird that happens to a body at that point, I can testify! :)

April said...

That makes so much sense to me!

Debbie said...

40 isn't so bad! At least not when you are barreling into 50 like I am!

 
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