Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Post Cards From the Hospital

Some people know how to vacation. They go to Peru or Bornio. Some people prefer Disney or Universal. I however being the unique soul that I am I choose the hospital. Yes the last few days I have been in the hospital throwing up blood and experiencing what can only be described as labor without the wonderful little present at the end.

Wednesday I woke up in the middle of the night feeling as though fairies were pulling my spleen out of my toenails. After a fun filled night of moaning and scaring my husband into an early grave I went to the doctor who quickly sent me to the emergency room. From there I was admitted into the hospital from hell for a fun filled night of injections in the stomach being poked in places even my husband would not dare to go and lemon flavored jello ((shudder)).

I wont bore you with all the details but suffice it to say that Beth Israel is one horrible hospital. And after being poked and prodded and cat scanned and dog scanned the doctor followed by a team of groveling interns said So what do you think is wrong with you?

I laughed and then realized he was serious and staring at this bunch of incompetents I answered My doctorate is in Education Administration ask me whats wrong with a school I can tell you but reading a cat scan is not my speciality.

The doctor and his gang looked disappointed they shrugged their shoulders and moved on to ask another patient to analyze a brain scan.

So according to dopey sneezy and doc I either have an ulcer, gal stones, food poisoning, an alien abduction that went wrong, or a hang nail.

Either way someone owes me a trip to Disney World.

21 comments:

Ali said...

Oh no! How awful. I hate hospitals. I hope you feel better soon.

The Mrs. said...

Shoot Beth Israel sounds like a military hospital! minus the lemon jello, thankfully they have taken that off their menu.

Hope your back to full strength soon!

Helen said...

Though I have taken a hiatus from blogging ... I can't resist yours!

My money is on that little old gall bladder of yours ..........

Be well.

TattingChic said...

Well, that sounds awful! I hope that they are able to find out the source of your pain. It is awful to be in such pain and not know what it is. It sure is sounding gall-bladderish to me, too!

Susan said...

I hope you are feeling better. If it happens again, that will certainly be a clue. Yikes.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

How yerrible for you. Are you home yet? I think you should write a letter to the President about our health care system. Feel better,

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Yikes! I hope you're feeling better--and changing doctors. Those hang nails can be a bitch...

Chimera said...

Bloody horribly scary and please let us all know when you have either found the hang nail or found someone who can read a scan. Are you still feeling wretched?
Am anxious for you.
Love
Cuz.

Vered - MomGrind said...

Oh my.

Feel better soon!

Michele said...

Holy crap, Suze. You sure have had your fill of illness the last year.

When paul was barfing (and pooping!) blood in Mexico, it was because he had parasites (possibly amoebic dysentery). I hope you get better very soon!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I hope you feel better soon! That is crazy they asked YOU what was wrong with you. Bill 'em! Heavens knows what they'll charge for that "consultation".

Erin, Nick and Merrick said...

Oh no!!!
Feel better!!
Come to disney and we will meet you there and buy you an icecream cone :)

adrienne said...

Yikes...are you feeling better? Most people say they need a vacation to recover from their vacation, but you really do...

Rebecca Ramsey said...

You poor thing!
I hope you're on the mend!

honeypiehorse said...

Really? They could figure out why you were throwing up blood? I guess nationalized health care hit your neck of the woods early. That sounds serious, are you OK now?

neb said...

I'm glad you're okay!

forgetfulone said...

Lemon-flavored jello? NOOOOOOO! I hope you're feeling better soon.

honeywine said...

You're kidding. They want you to tell THEM? Forget Disney. You should get a trip to Paris! But, probably only if you guess right and don't end up dead. Grrr...

MoziEsmé said...

Don't you sound chipper! Sorry you've having such a bum vacation...

Maria said...

I'm sorry to hear you are sick!! I would put money on gallstones though. I thought I was having a heart attack with mine. I have found most hospitals are less than confident anymore. I am like, "I"m not paying you THOUSANDS of dollars for ME to diagnosis myself!!! Hope you are feeling better soon!!!

glnroz said...

dont that just cap your pistol? That's what they ask me. Wonder if the will let us pay ourselves when we figure it out?

 
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