About a week ago everyone in my house was sick. The whining was monumental. My son whined for soup the soup was too hot then after cooling it it was too cold. My daughter was thirsty but her taste bugs made everything taste funny. They took turns keeping me awake all night. First my son threw up then my daughter couldn't breathe through her stuffed up nosy and needed me to blow it. Then my son was cold then my daughter was hot. It was a relay race of non sleep.
They gooped on me
They coughed on me.
I wiped their little fevered brows.
I blew their little snotty noses.
I could feel the germs crawling on my skin and jumping aboard for the ride of the lifetime. And then as they miraculously turned a corner and felt almost all better, but still needing soup and cookies type of almost better I got hit with the big fat flu stick from hell.
It was a mean type of flu the kind where you rent movies like the Notebook which you've always wanted to see and yet after watching it you couldn't tell who had the notebook why they would even want one and why they just didn't buy a new one from Target. The kind of flu where taking NyQuil doesn't lead to a sleep filled with plaid elephants eating cheese steaks off Kenu Reeves backside and instead just has you waking up in a pile of green drool and snot feeling even worse.
It was no fun at all. My kids tried they really did. I awoke one afternoon to find I was covered in sparkles and home made get well cards. But most of the time I woke to the sounds of my kids killing each other. From my flu haze I still found myself yelling about things like:
Let go of your sisters neck!
Stop sitting on your brothers head!
Through a haze I searched for shoes, made peanut butter sandwiches and attended parent teacher conferences. I was on automatic mom and it worked not well but it worked.
So 13 cans of soup, 12 episodes of Extreme Couponers and 23 boxes of tissue later, I have emerged from the flu haze and good lord what the hell happened to my house!!!