An Infomercial of Lies

Last night B was on a screaming jag. For some reason he was very worked up that the water next to his bed that I had just poured was not fresh. So he sat in his bed crying and screaming at the top of his lounges scaring the poor baby out of her skull. I offered to change it for him I offered to have him change it. I held him I rocked him. I yelled I threatened but to no avail.

So my hubby and I sat in the living room listening to the screaming trying not to freak out while playing with the TV volume so we could hear anything above the ear splitting screams. When suddenly we heard:

Are your children making you crazy?
We both turned drawn to the magical voice on the TV

Do you feel like you are living in a battle zone?

We both nodded in unison. Eyes wide

Are you sick of the back talking, arguing? Do you wish you could just have your sweet child back?

Yes Yes ! We chanted

We have the solution to bring peace back to your family again.

We grabbed each others hands nodding and smiling. Yes they have the solution it will all be OK.

Just call 1-888-badkid

Before I knew what I was doing I had grabbed the phone. I dialed I knew would do anything they said military school, join the Moonies or shave my head. Heck I'd even launch him into space.

Hello you've reached 1-888-badkid are you ready to bring peace to your home?

We are! We shouted. We Are!

Are you ready to be friends with your child and stop the shouting and end the threats?

We are! We are!

So how old is your teenager?

ummm..4

Oh umm this program is for 12-18 year olds.

...damn.

..probably couldn't afford it anyway

Tell Me Why

I was reading the blog Because I Said So and she pointed out some facts of children's programing that I must agree with after hours and hours of watching Noggin I too am plagued with the following questions:

Where the Hell are Max and Ruby's Parents? Is Ruby the worlds first 7 year old mother or are her parents drug addicts or felons who are just not present if so why doesn't her kindly grandma move in and help take care of them?


How old is Stephanie supposed to be on Lazy Town? I read her bio and she is really 16. And does she have something going with the very sexy Sportacus? I'm sorry but I just love that guy. I was completely obsessed with him last year but this year I plan to be more level headed.
Ok look at him you know he' sexy OK I love him what can I do?
Anyway.... (I'm so ashamed)


The question we all want to know what is Uniqua? B says she is a cow but it just doesn't sit right with me.


I think I used to be quite a reflective, deep, woman now...well what can I say?