Friday's Rant

I love NYC isn't that what all the tee-shirts say?  Well I gotta say I just don't! Its dirty, expensive the people are mean and there always seem to be some kind of a disaster. Hurricanes, terrorist attacks, the day the whole city smelled like maple syrup (which you know was some strange terrorist attack created by Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers to give us all a diet crisis.) just to name a few.

Now I know a water main break is not a disaster but its sure is icky.

Yes today we have a water main.  Water pouring in the streets but none in the taps. The news keeps harping on subway troubles but come on really no water how yucky!


Any NYC disaster brings out all the crazies.  When I went to lunch 20 min ago people were camped out on the sidewalks with gallons of water drinking it like they had just run a marathon. People were asking strangers where the water went and would it ever come back again. Some very tall crazy man wearing a tiara  and child sized purple rain coat with Dora on it  was walking down the street yelling "Prepare yourselves for the end of days there is no drinking water in the city! The lord will take us all!!"

And speaking of lunch I didn't bring my lunch today so since there's no water how is everyone washing their hands? And I work in a daycare so think about all the diaper changes done each day with no water to clean up butts or hands ick!

 And while I'm eating my contaminated sandwich I now remember that everyone uses my keyboard.   I'm as always I'm eating and typing oh ick ick ick. I'm probably getting some illness that will cause my fingernails to turn blue and fall off and my eyes to turn into gooing orbs of fire.

And don't get me started on the whole toilet thing cause in just a few hours it will no longer be known as the big apple but as the stink apple or the apple filled with unflushable poo.

I love NYC? Not really, not today, sorry. Yuck

Sympathy And Belly Buttons

 

I realize I usually post about the harrowing experiences of motherhood but yesterday I had one of those sweet aww moments that I thought deserved recognition.

Little S is sick she was sent home from school with a hacking cough and slight fever. We had spent the day watching every kid movie ever made; Puss in Boots, Shrek, Barney Searches for the Wreck of the Titanic, Diego Makes Calamari With Some Cute, Bug Eyed, Squid He Doesn't Rescue. If  they made it we watched it. Anyway it was around 5 or as I like to call it the hour when all children hit the wall and start to freak out, when I gave S a bath. In the bath S took a long look at her navel and suddenly announced in horror "My outty is now an iny!" and promptly burst into tears.

I took her out of the bath and explained it was ok all bodies changed. Causing her to only cry harder with those big sobbing bursts only a sick, totally unreasonable, child could make.It was at that point B came home from Hebrew school.  He went up to his crying sister and gently asked her what was wrong. S relayed her grim tale shaking with grief for the belly button that once was.

B pulled up her pajama top looked at her traitorous navel and asked her to stand up and suck in her belly. Slowly choking back tears S did as she was told and looked down. The button protruded and looked an awful lot like an outy.

She cried in joy and threw her arms around her big brother. B then went over to his back pack and produced a coloring book and gave it to her saying, "I got this for good behavior but I think you need it more than I do." She smiled up at her hero with love and devotion in her eyes. I paused and took a mental photograph of the wonderful, empathetic, little boy I had helped to create.

Then B farted and they both started laughing and running around the house like a cat on roller skates with a bad case of gas.

It's been so long

I know I know where the hell have I been? Working parenting blah blah blah. I have forgot about you old blog old friend when something happened this weekend that made me remember why I love you so.

It began Friday night when it started to snow. I went to the drugstore and the kids were all tucked in bed when B asked me to come back with some snow. So I did what any good mommy would do I wrapped my frozen fingers around the whitest spot I could find and brought it home. The kids were thrilled. B grabbed a handful and proceeded to eat it. Some of you folks in places other than NYC might think this is fine but in NYC all sorts of badness can be in that snow. Crack viles, dog pee, you name it its there.  That's is why we have a firm no eating the snow rule in our house.

Anyhow within about 15 min B found the filling in the pinata- rock salt. I don't know if you know what happens when you eat rock salt but it ain't pretty. The kid began to puke and puke like a foul smelling chunkie fountain. It was so bad I had to leave the room lest I join him.

Within two minutes of stopping he ripped off all his clothes and began to run back and forth across our apartment screaming in naked glee.

He grabbed his sister dragged her across the floor while laughing in delight. I finally cornered  him in the bathroom and tried to talk him down. He turned from me and with a giant push he shoved our glass shower door and it smashed into pieces filling the tub with broken glass. 

It was then that I knew the blogging must continue.

Wordless Whatever Day It is

It was Little S' birthday today


In Order to stop her brother stealing her thunder certain measures needed to be taken.



It didn't work

Where have all the cribs gone

Since we've gotten rid of the crib its like a free for all in my house. You think its quiet. You think you can finally sit down have a little drink, watch TV when you hear it. At first you think its the neighbors. Maybe a little mouse. But no its worse its the distinctive sound of little feet. It's (gasp) my kids!!! Its like now that the crib is gone the cage has been opened and the animals at the zoo are running free.

My son is stealthy little a little ninja. One time I went into the bathroom and closed the door before seeing him flush against the wall. Silently watching me. Sometimes at night I have the horrible feeling like something is watching me. I look up and there he is. Black rimmed eyes like the boy in the grudge staring at me. Waiting to ask me if Michael Jackson had ever gone to the moon to learn to moon walk or why fish never blink when they clearly have water in their eyes. Its eerie and frightening.

My daughter is less stealthy. She's like the Godfather in pigtails demanding goldfish and strawberry milk. She wanders the halls bumping into things and humming the Wonder pets theme song.

Its getting so I can never trust a moments peace I know that at any minute my children may enter. I may never be able to watch a show that is not rated G again -just-in-case. Why cant they make a crib with the bars on the top so her mommy can have a little drink in peace. Is that so wrong...

And Here It Is

Wow. Today by mistake I stumbled across my blog. Its been so long since I've seen it. Its not like I haven't thought about it. I do all the time. I write entries in my head while Im laying in bed or while Im bathing the kids or changing a diaper. I even wanted to post the picture of Little S's first poop here for wordless Wednesday but somehow it never happened. Between work and the kids I barely have time to brush my teeth. You know the story blah blah blah

I am resisting the urge to go back and read all my entries. I know this parenting thing its been a hard but sweet road and life is never easy but to read it all laid out like this is very strange. Its like reading your old diaries. It always end up with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and an empty bottle of wine next to you.

Instead these days I amuse myself with writing a status update on Face book. It seems like all I can manage these days. I post things like Someone Pass the Cheese Wiz and I feel like I said it all. I mean that is profound but there is something about bloging I miss. The feeling of laying it all out there for people to see. To reflect on if I ever get that chance.

Ive got so much to say and so little time to say it. Even now this is a stolen moment I should be working. I should collating something. But it feels good to say hello again. Ive missed this and I hope it wont be months until I come back again to say hi and take a moment to breath.

Send Me a Gooroo Please

I'M sorry Ive been so MIB (again). Its been so hard just keeping up with everything. Every time I turn around a new crisis seems to be tapping me on the shoulder and sneezing in my direction. I hate to complain ( no really OK maybe I do) but who knew this whole working mommy thing would be this hard. So far this school year we've had:

broken bones,
pneumonia,
several herniated disks,
school placement problems,
a pinched nerve,
and the most fun of all LICE!

And just the normal things like trying to balance a full time job and running back and forth between two schools is just doing me in. The idea of cooking dinner and doing homework after working a full day,running back and forth between two school across town from each other in 25 minutes while pushing a stroller with a toddler complaining she cant breath and she wants to walk is as appetizing as a plate of cooked meal worms in a light broth. (phew)

Every time I feel like I may have it under control I learn I really don't. It enough to make me sit around and waste my time dreaming of an early retirement or running away and joining some weird cult just so I can have new things to worry about.

Anyway I'm still here just insane and bitter and overworked and ready to cry at the drop of a hat.

Anyone met any good cult leaders if so send him my way I got my bags packed and I have a valid passport ready.

Kindergarten Upadate

This was B on the first half day of kindergarten.


This was B the night of his 5th Birthday and the first full day of Kindergarten

This is B today

Yes B has fractured his arm falling from the monkey bars at school. He has fractured his growth plate and will be in a cast for the next six weeks. He has discovered that his cast is good for hitting his sister on the head with and is currently using as a new sort of weapon. Even though he is in a cast he is loving school and the attention he is receiving for his battle wound.

Keeping you in the know

Suzie

P.S> I am so sorry I haven't gotten to reading anyone's posts for awhile. As you can see things have gone from nuts to nuts and I promise to get to you all just as soon as I can.

Updates

Sorry I have been MIA. Things have been crazy and its hard to keep up with everything so I have assembled this update to keep you in the Suzie loop, refresh your Suzie knowledge and keep you abreast (please excuse the pun) of the latest Suzie gossip:

• First is first THE BOOBIES ARE FINE! It took forever to find out. Apparently the added stress of not knowing is good for 40 year gals health and looks. So they keep you guessing as long as they possibly can and grudgingly give you a phone call ages later to tell you you are A OK at least until next year when you go through the hell all over again.I love the 40's.
  

By the way thank you all by the way for your thoughts and prayers you guys rock.

• Next Suzie fact I failed the driving test. Yes I sure did. In fact I did it in a wonderful and unique way I hit a parked car. Yup I posses a skill which is stunning and wonderful. My driving instructor who has never cracked a smile in the 20 hours we spent driving together laughed and laughed the whole two hours back to the city. I am very proud.

• Lastly my little B went to Kindergarten for the first time today. He smiled and waved me good bye without a second glance and now I am binge eating and having a minor anxiety attack as I think of my little boy going on his way in life. The schools super made me really worked up by saying I remember holding my little boys hand on the way to kindergarten and now I am waving him off as he joins the marines. I don't want my 4 year old to join the marines he cant even tie his shoes yet for goodness sake!

So that's it that's the the scoop, the big show, the facts of my life to date. Call TMZ Suzie's in the house!