Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Today I Drive

Today I am taking my first driving class. I'm not feeling very confident about it. In fact I woke up several times in a hot sweat thinking about crashing into things.

What really made me nervous was when I was in Philly last week (my excuse for going MIB all last week) I had an experience at Chuckie Cheese that really shook my confidence. For all you foreigners out there Chuckie Cheese is a place for kids that has lots of games and rides for kids and uses a big rat for its mascot (it is as horrible as it sounds). Anyway I was at C.C. eating pizza and pretending my fruit punch in a plastic cup with a rat on it was really a dry gin martini in a clean martini glass when my son approached.

Lets play a driving game mommy Ill teach you to dive.

Apparently my son is a consummate driver who will teach me the ropes if I panic.

What could it hurt I thought. I gripped that wheel put in my coins and took my shiny yellow car driven by my avatar a big busted, blond haired, gal out for a drive. When it began I was whistling a happy tune by the end I could barely pucker.

Yes, by the time the game was over I was covered in sweat and my shiny new yellow car was nothing but a smoldering wreck. Don't even ask about my avatar she wouldn't have spoken to me if she could. But since she was trapped in the fiery wreckage I can only imagine her wrestling with her broken bones to flip me the bird before she became one with the computer cosmos.

I looked over and my son was jumping up and down clapping he had come in first place his avatar was waving a winner flag and his beautiful red car was shiny and proud.

So if today you hear about a ten car pile up in NYC caused by a student driver please don't tell my avatar I know she'll gloat.

18 comments:

Madge said...

driving a real car is about a zillion times easier then driving a video game car. you are going to do great.

Rebecca Ramsey said...

I've always wanted to try on life as a blond big busted gal!
I've never been able to drive well in those games--they must be rigged. At least that's what I want to believe.
I'll cross my fingers for you! You'll be a pro in no time!

adrienne said...

Any five year old can beat me at a video game, but I wouldn't let one drive me down the street. Definitely not the same thing.
You can do it!

Tay said...

Oh man, those video game cars are HARD. I am terrible at those, but a good driver in real life. I'm sure you are going to be a fantastic driver. :)

Helen said...

As usual .... hysterically funny! Good luck, I can only imagine how this is going to turn out! Be safe.

Susan said...

Ahh, shoot, driving a real car is a piece of cake. Much, much easier than arcade driving. You were just traumatized by that dad blamed rat.

honeypiehorse said...

I hear you. But at least your son shows signs of being a good driver so it's not genetic.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh no! You'll be great! It's not nearly as fast as video games. Unless of course you're a cab driver.

April said...

you'll do great! don't stress!!!

Annie said...

Good luck - you'll do great!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

If a pimply teenagaer can do it so can you.....

Amy F. said...

I know that you can do it! I only had my mother-in-law teaching me and quite honestly, I think I'm now a better driver than she is. And I've had my license for.....11 days now LOL And yes, I had the nightmares and nightsweats too...but mine were about parallel parking ;) You'll do great :D

Michele said...

Learning how to drive in NY must be a bitch, so I feel for you. Don't let all the honking and asshole drivers scare you! Ignore them and you'll be fine.

TattingChic said...

Well, let's just hope you put some clothes on first woman!

;)


LOL! Your comment on my blog this morning gave me a chuckle.

Good luck with your learning to drive. NY sounds like a challenge to learn to drive in.

Cat said...

I can't drive video game cars, either. No worries. I'm sure it went well! And they don't typically start you out on the racetrack going 120.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

How did it go?

Ali said...

I am late but just wanted to say I hope it went well.

tiff said...

Wishing you luck with your driving classes, you'll ace it, I'm sure.

 
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