My son has become the inappropriate Miss Manners. Yesterday as we were walking home I scratched the side of my nose (the outside mind you). B yelled out as loud as he could NO NOSE PICKING MOMMY!!!! Everyone turned around and looked at me. I stammered out I wasn't picking my nose I was scratching my face...really my face.... as the people turned away in disgust I thought to myself this lesson in manners is from a child that paints with his poo and french kisses the dog. When he pulled his sisters pacifier out of her little crying mouth and swung it just out of her reach he pointed to me and yelled YOU NO SAY PLEASE MOMMY!!!!! This is after I retrieved it by chasing him around the stroller four times. Yes he's an etiquette pro.
He also loves to point out my imperfections. I feel like I am on that show The Swan but with no plastic surgery as a prise afterwards just lots and lots of criticism. After our vacation my face has broken out a bit. I thought it was nothing terrible just a few blemishes..OK zits. B looks up at me in the grocery store points to the blemishes and yells MOMMY YOU HAVE SOME VERY VERY YUCKY BOO BOO'S! I felt really really sexy I can tell you. The flab under my arm is a wonderful toy to play with LOOK MOMMY ITS ALL FLOPPY! WEEE!!!!!!! I could point out he talks like Frankenstein ME LIKE FIRE or that when he runs his arms and legs flap in all directions but I am too mature...yup that's me too too mature
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16 comments:
Suzie, you are hilarious!
Once my daughter got ahold of my upper arm, started massaging it and said, "Ooh Mommy. It feels just like bread dough."
I've been a little self conscious ever since.
Kids are funny.
Don't worry. When they're teens you can embarrass them and get them back.
Suzie, I have to come and spend a day with you (mind you I said only a day) and B. So much fun! :)
My daughter likes to call attention the zits on my face. I keep looking for the mute button on her body, but it has yet to be found.
Hahahaha. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing in remembrance! That's a stage they go through. I promise it gets better, at least in public.
Oh my goodness!! LOL!! Kids are wonderful aren't they? When is it they are capable of learning the concept of tact?? ;) My almost 12-year-old step-daughter is still struggling with that concept...
yesterday i was getting into the pool and my son said, "your legs are kind of fat."
thank you so much. if only it weren't so true.
Funny! I think boys are just like that. My son calls farts "poopoo fire." He's 3 and thinks anything gross is funny.
tina
Ugh...I hated "The Swan." What a horrible, depressing, ridiculously over-the-top show that was!
Bee is going through her safe driving phase. If I even take one hand off the wheel, she chastises me severely!
Also, she keeps asking when I'm going to "go back to normal" after having Babycakes. Doesn't do a lot for my self esteem.
I live with the "inappropriate police" too. My 4 year old is VERY quick to point out when soemthing is "inapropriate", except when SHE'S the one doing it! :) She likes to call attention to my imperfect sking as well. SO embarrassing in a public place.
Discussing with my husband (after the cycling president and his wife had botched up the group's country accommodation arrangements for the night)"you'd think Sue would have got it right, she's usually organized" saw four year old daughter say out loud to me at the wives gathering the next day( while the boys were off cycling) "Which is the Sue you said you don't like?" Spluttering made it worse. Denial made it worse. And Lordy,I had a whole weekend left with these women.Instant freeze-out.Thank you very much. Just what I needed.
Oh, the things kids say!
Ah yes, my son likes to point out my "features" too. Lovely. Who knew having children would be so uplifting.
Oh my goodness! Sounds like one of my kids. She has a knack for announcing things at the wrong time and in the worst company.
That's too funny. My kids are the same way. My upper arms are a source of much fun for my seven-year-old...and none of the kids are afraid to air all my dirty laundry to the check-out person at the grocery store! Welcome to THAT family society! It's nice that there is a place for us.
Sounds like my kids. I haven't picked or scratched in YEARS because of it. I'm overdo.
oh goodness - I was laughing out loud at this one...and reading it to my husband ;) TOO FUNNY!!
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