Friday, July 11, 2008

The Big Bad Bug Killer

I'm not the type of gal who is scared of bugs. I catch fireflies with my son let daddy long legs roam free on my hands I even took B and S to the bug zoo where live spiders hung freely from the walls. But I don't like water bugs! I hate them they freak me out. You think they are dead, that you smashed them, when they get up and make a desperate dash at your feet. They are just ick!

This morning when I got into work one of the teachers rang the buzzer when I went to let her in all I heard was help. I walked to the door and there was the biggest the meanest looking water bug I had ever seen. He even had a little motorcycle jacket and a switch blade. That bug was out for trouble.

Putting my brave face on after all B and S were watching me I grabbed a broom and while squealing away like a little girl I whacked the life out of that bug. I stopped and of course the bug made a dash for me. I nearly fell over my son pushing him out of the way of the blood thirsty 2 inch monster. I smashed him again this time he was bug putty there was no way he was getting back from that one. Until he pulled himself out of the goo and ran at me again and then fell in a heap by my feet. I scooped him up and as the other teacher and I screamed I dumped him outside.

Walking back inside glowing with bravery my son turned to me and said, Mommy water bugs wont hurt you why did you smoosh him? Suddenly I was filled with guilt maybe that bug wasn't so bad. Maybe the little switch blade was being used in defense. Maybe his leather jacket was just a fashion statement and not a gang thing. I... I didn't smoosh him.. I lied...he's fine he's just sleeping. No mommy said B solemnly you killed him! He shook his head and slowly walked away.

Nothing like a little morality lesson first thing before coffee.

14 comments:

Heather said...

I HATE bugs! I would not feel the least bit sorry. DIE DIE DIE is my motto for all bugs.

Kmommy said...

Hilarious! I also hate water bugs, but don't mind other types of bugs. My husband on the other hand... he would have been screaming like a girl right along with you and your worker ;)
I'm the spider/bug go to person in our house.

the teach said...

The heck with morality I'm glad you killed that sucker! Psst, don't tell B.

Michele said...

flier flies=fireflies? If so, I am not trying to correct your spelling, just curious!! That is one thing I miss about living in the Pacific NW--no fireflies at night. How sad. No water bugs, either, but that isn't sad at all. Those things squick me out.

We are THAT Family said...

I do not like bugs, but I don't like killing them either. It's not because I'm trying to be humane, either. I can't stand the crunchy noise!

Julia said...

I cam across your blog, I think from Madges (I've been hopping all over) and I've been laughing for the last 20 minutes. Love your posts. Yes you should always kill bugs, especially the ones with switch blades. I love your hair and I wish I could have Star Bright hook me up with some red.

Kate @ Life As I Live It said...

Ugh. Bugs. Thought actually I don't mind them as much as I loathe snakes. (shudder....)

Pam said...

I am one of these saintly people (yes you can all put your fingers down you throat and retch) who gather up very tiny little bugs or big fat hair spiders and lovingly take them outside. I gently place a glass over the creature, slide paper underneath and off we go. Had enough? Then let me introduce you to my evil side. I torment my husband with it first.A grown man screaming mercy.I have not been able to do this to him for the last decade however, after a serious discussion he instigated ,about his genuine fear and terror.Sure does take the fun out of life though.

Susan said...

Do you remember when Chekov got that bug in his ear? That's what those bugs make me think of. I call anything that looks like that an earwig, and I think you know why. Not only do I smash the little bug-gers, but I do karate yells when I do it. Nope, not scared of bugs, but I hates "meeses to pieces".

Alex Elliot said...

I love the part about the switchblade!

MommyWizdom said...

You may not have looked close enough at the jacket; definitely sounds like gang involvement to me.

It's funny the things kids care about. We had ants in the house at one point - I couldn't get rid of them... and we had to kill them (there were so many). Surprisingly, BG went right along with us - I thought for sure she'd be their advocate.

Amber said...

I hate ALL bugs! I had a HUGE cockroach in my classroom (after the kids left) and screamed my head off until someone came to rescue me!

Heidi said...

EEEEEWWWW! I would not have felt bad smooshing that thing! I don't like those either. but, I don't like any bugs. A bug zoo? Seriously? I think I would faint! :)

MamaGeek said...

Oh I feel ya. The only thing worse is snakes (IMHO). But before coffee? I didn't even know life existed before it! :)

 
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