Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Blood Thirsty Sandwich

I planned to blog about my favorite sandwich the Philadelphia hoagie which I am now truly obsessing on. Yes I think about this sandwich I dream about it. It has taken over my mind. I mean look at this thing.



But this morning something so crazy, so mind bending occurred that the sandwich actually took a back seat and instead I will blog about my sweet little blood thirsty child named Little S.

Yes this morning I learned that my beautiful little S is a horrible hulking monster. Yes a snarling beast. You may think I am exaggerating or being a bad mom but you did not witness the rage fulled babyness which I call S.

I began innocently enough it was a normal Wednesday. We had arrived at school and S was covered in snot. You see S has a perpetual runny nose. She is very cute but is constantly dripping snot. When it gets really bad she points to the snot and says eyes eyes eyes until someone hands her a tissue (Yes she is a little confused but she's 16 months hopefully by the times she's in high school she will have gotten this one straight)

So she's walking around the classroom saying eyes and I give her big brother B a tissue to hand to her. Instead of giving her the tissue he holds it over her head and starts to mock her eyes eyes he says in a baby voice. S leaps for it but she is too short. She shreiks she whines. She squeezes her little fists together but nothing seems to work.

Suddenly she lunges at her brother locking her teeth into his back. The next thing I know she is crying and biting and snotting on him. I pull her off of him and she lunges again biting into his back once again. I pry her little mouth off of him. She is wild and flailing trying to take a hunk out of her brother. She is out for blood and hysterical. Limbs flaying I take her out of the room. She is sobbing shouting eyes eyes and gnashing her little teeth together. After several minutes of hysteria she starts to calm down. I hand her a tissue and she looks up at me smiling and says Tank oo (S for thank you) in her sweet little baby voice.

I am not fooled. Today I have learned my baby is a vicious blood thirsty child....

I still want that sandwich though.

29 comments:

adrienne said...

Poor S and her frustrations! It's tough to be a little sister.
But I might throw a tantrum like that now that you've teased me with that sandwich.
Hoagie, hoagie!

Vodka Mom said...

and let the madness begin!!!

TattingChic said...

I feel bad for S. First of all she can't breathe, it's got to be very uncomfortable having a perpetual runny nose, so then when she is doing her best to communicate that she needs help her big brother makes fun of her instead of helping her out. That would piss me off too! She has every right to be angry!!! Poor little thing.

Kristin H. said...

I hope that put big brother in his place. Poor little S.

Debbie said...

You deserve that sandwich!

neb said...

Someday soon, you will have that Sarcone's Italian Hoagie.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Yum...I want a sandwich now too and you know I rarely want sandwiches! And good for little S. She does not negotiate with terrorists or older brothers who are terrorizing her.

The Mrs. said...

ooh i want that sandwich too. where can i get one of those up here.......

your little one sounds a lot like mine. he cuold no longer take the torment and has taken to lunging at his brother. I figure he gets ten free punches then I'm going to have to start correcting him.

Rebecca Ramsey said...

SCARY!
Beware of the S!

I've never had one of those sandwiches. Now you made me want to try them!

Vered - MomGrind said...

Oh no, biting! You know you have to nip this in the bud...

I love that sandwich too.

Erin said...

...and now I want one too.

Suzanne Casamento said...

I gotta be honest. If my nose was constantly running and I was covered in snot and my brother held a tissue over my head, I'd bite him too.

And I'm 36.

April said...

I started picturing the baby from The Incredibles while reading this!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

are you feeding that child enough?

WillThink4Wine said...

She might be the reincarnation of my youngest sister. She was a beast of a child. A tattle-tailing, whiny witch. Revenge is sweet, though. See has a mini-me now, a clone-daughter. :-D

Helen said...

I absolutely relish reading your blog! Sandwich looks good too ..

Kate Coveny Hood said...

This must be a girl thing... My daughter goes for the jugular when she's not getting her way. But the second she does, a sweet little girl emerges. Totally Sybil.

Valarie Lea said...

Hmmmm sounds like that kid can hold her own :)

Madge said...

siblings always know how to get to each other.....

Vic said...

Poor kid! It was clearly the mocking that drove her over the edge.
At least she'll know how to stand up for herself!

Ali said...

A girl's gotta assert herself! Poor S. it's not her fault!

Ren @ The Land of Ren said...

See, this is what happens you taunt little girls. Serves him right really. I hope he's okay!

honeywine said...

16 months? Uhhh...if I were brother, I'd be finding a hole! Wait til she's 3!

Mrs Parks said...

She sounds JUST like my sister!!!

Susan said...

When we were children, we had a playmate that bit. I may have mentioned it before, but it bears repeating...he ran over and bit my mom, and without thinking she grabbed his arm and bit him back. You guessed it, he never bit again. I think he didn't even realize that it hurt until this happened. Well, she would have gotten arrested today for doing something like that, but back then it made for a great story. Have fun.

Sue said...

My husband kissed me hard full on the lips because I had a hoagie for lunch and saved him half. BTW I live in South Jersey so yes they know how to make Philly hoagies. Just thought I'd rub it in. I love your blog, thanks for making me laugh

tiff said...

I think you need that sandwich. It will give you added strength to get through this biting business.

It does look good, that sandwich.

Chimera said...

I used to be snotty all the time and bite other children when I was little too. In fact I am still - due to this sodding cold- still snotty and today i nearly bit several people at my voluner job - so there you go. Little S may well end up just like your Cuz. (and if she can stay out of prison she will be faboo!)
T xxx

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