Where Out Thou Oh Hoagie?

Its sad I am truly obsessed with a sandwich. I think about it all of the time I even dream about it. Its not just any sandwich its an Italian Hoagie from my home town of Philadelphia.

The anti kosher nastiness that makes you feel bloated for hours afterwards. It stains your clothes and makes your breath smell bad. But its so worth it. I've been obsessed with men I did the teenage stalking thing but this this is different. This sandwich has invaded my thoughts, my dreams. Any food does not hold a candle to it.

Why not just eat one you may ask? Because my sandwich is 97.12 miles away (Yes I map quested it). I tried to bribe my Dad who lives in Philly to fed ex me the sandwich he laughed and explained the bread would never hold up. I explained to him I would take that risk but alas no. No sandwich will be forthcoming.

I guess the fact I am dieting has something to do with it. Nothing that hasn't been weighed measured critiqued and fussed over ever enters my stomach. But this sandwich with its mayonnaise and vinegar soaked bread would have me throwing my scales and measuring cups out the window if only for a moment of its time.

I mean just look at it.

Its tempting luncheon meat, its soggy soaked bread. Who wouldn't rather spend a good 10 min with this sandwich than doing any thing else. Yes you heard me right I would rather have 10 min alone with this sandwich than 10 min alone with Brad Pitt (Unless he was holding this sandwich during that time for me to snack upon).

I don't think I have ever been this obsessed with food let alone a sandwich. I wish I could forget, think about something else. But alas it is no use.

So unless Brad shows up soon my Dad gives in and mails me sandwich or the tooth fairy stops delivering quarters and leaves a sandwich under my pillow instead I guess I am doomed to eat my diet food and wait until I can see my love again...someday.