Wednesday, March 11, 2009

My Eye Hurts

My eye hurts. I don't know why. I just woke just this morning and there it was stinging away. Now I am not the sort of person to get crazy about small things. I'm just a go with the flow type of gal. Its a good thing I'm not one of those crazy nuts who blow everything out of proportion because if I was these are some things I might have thought happened to my peeper:

  1. I was abducted by aliens and they implanted a chip in my eye so they could find me later. Hey its better than the anal probe.
  2. I scratched my eye during a fight with a vampire. After the fight my memory was erased so I would not tell anyone of their secret lair.
  3. I'm actually a super hero while I sleep and I wear colored contacts to hide my secret identity. They make my eyes ache sometimes but saving those puppies and seven babies was totally worth it.
  4. During the night a fertile bug deposited eggs in my Corina. In a few weeks they will hatch like the movie aliens and take over the earth
  5. I'm possessed and the demon is trying to get out through my eye
  6. The kids did something bad bad bad
  7. Because of fear of the recession unbeknowst to me my hubby rents out my eyes while I sleep to make some extra cash. The person who used it last night was not careful and scratched it He will not be getting his security deposit back.
Its probably nothing. I'll just be wearing tin foil on my head and locking my door at night until I know for sure.

21 comments:

Ali said...

I'd go with the alien thing. I once pulled a "thing" out of my husband's back that I swear was some kind of alien implant. Happens all the time I'm sure.

neb said...

I'm going with number four. You make a good host organism.

Cat said...

Vampire. Definitely a vampire attack. Or a zombie tried to eat it. That's probably more likely, everyone knows vampires don't exist.

honeypiehorse said...

Very creative ideas but not to worry - sometimes eyes just hurt.

Stacy said...

I like the alien theory, too, but maybe it's not for tracking. Maybe they put in a tiny camera and they are sitting in front of a monitor in their UFO watching live feed of whatever you look at. You should make an effort to give them something really good to look at.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I'll take eye pain over an anal probe any day.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I think everyone is taking this whole alien abduction thing very lightly... Personally - I'm terrified by Visitors. Yet I still like the X Files. Strange.

P.S. I'm also terrified of vampires - yet I plowed through that damn Twilight series. Pattern?

honeywine said...

Gotta be #7. I'm in a blame-men-for-everything mood. PMS is purty. :)

Debbie said...

I'm thinking it is the kids' fault. Always works for me when I blame mine.

Vered - MomGrind said...

It all makes perfect sense now. :)

adrienne said...

Hope for #7 - you can use that extra cash to buy eye drops. And maybe more tin foil, or even a teensy weensy little bit of therapy...whichever you think is best ;)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I think you poked yourself in the eye while you were sleeping.

Helen said...

I loved reading all of the wacky possibilities .... NOW go have it checked dearie!

April said...

I loved most of these, but the one about the bug eggs totally grossed me out!

Susan said...

I think it's pink eye. Probably from sharing eyeliner with Marilyn Manson.

KayFour said...

Well, it can't be the demon one because they get IN through your eye, not OUT. So, you are off the hook... no demon trying to get out. Oh wait! Unless it was one trying to get in...

I'll just keep my mouth shut now.

Kmommy said...

LOL!! Hilarious! Could it be #3?? ;) I can see you as a superhero!

Person(also known as Mommy) said...

If your husband is anything like my husband, it was definitely the rent-an-eye program that did this to you. I'd skip on the foil hat and invest in some pills to dose your entrepreneurial hubby. LoL. I hope your eye feels better soon!

sour said...

i hate it when a demon tries to get out of my eye at night, it's like "hey, demon, can't you just wait until the morning? or what about the nose or ears or something with a hole already in it?" know what i mean?

Anonymous said...

found this post via google because my eye hurts too.....
i dunno what to dooooooo
my eye ittcheesss
and i put drops in itttt
and it still hurrtttsss

Bruno Hill said...

Maybe someone rented your eyeballs and didn't take good care of it. But you know Suzie, you should have your eyes checked up to determine the reason why are they irritated. Maybe something's amiss.

 
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