Friday, May 1, 2009

I Should Be Ashamed

I like to think of myself as a reasonable person. I am polite I try to be nice I dont curse or hit people. I might even be called mild mannered by some. But what most people don't know is that under this seemingly nice exterior is a temper. It doesn't show itself often but something about the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles for you foreign types) unleashes the volcano of anger that has been lying dormant in me for years.

I think it starts when they call me Ma'am. I know it is supposed to be polite but it makes me feel old and something about that ma'am word feels snarky and down right rude.

The next thing is the blank stare they give when the paper work they handed you and told you to fill out is now not the right paper work and they tell you to go stand in another line for the next twelve hours of your life to get another piece of paper.

It is at this point where I snap. I don't even drive but I made myself a promise I would drive by the age of 40. Its down to the wire as I am getting old and I thought (I guess in a naive laughable who do you think you are kind of a way) that getting the learners permit would be about studying and memorizing traffic signs not seeing if I could stop myself from freaking out at a DMV employee who just snapped her gum in my face while announcing that my New York State ID was not good enough proof of ID for New York State.

So I started off my Friday morning the way I did last Friday morning being escorted out of the DMV office by security. Yes, even keeled Suzie cursed and yelled and flailed her arms while screaming at the entire DMV office. Not once but twice!

What can I say.... I guess every superman has his red cryptonite and for sure the DMV is mine.

19 comments:

Tay said...

I have heard crazy stories about New York State requirements to get a driver's license/learner's permit. Something like Eight forms of ID? RIDICULOUS!

Good luck. I would have definitely thrown a fit.

neb said...

I find your self control quite admirable, actually. Even with the flailing arms.

Cat said...

I would have paid to see that. You're my hero.

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Have you tried taking some preventative medication before you go in?

The DMV drives me crazy too, but last time I had to go, I (unintentionally) got them back for anything they'd ever done to me. When it came time for the lady to take my photo, I developed a severe blinking problem. Seriously. After 7 photos, I still couldn't stop blinking! The woman got ANGRY and had to walk away. Unfortunately for her, I also suffer from inappropriate laughter. I couldn't help it! (Or maybe it was my subconscious being naughty!)

adrienne said...

Twice? That's hilarious.
I'm with you on the ma'am thing. I hate that.

Helen said...

I have to stop laughing long enough to tell you your comment regarding my soup dish was priceless! These little glimpses into your life are just so entertaining!!!! good luck with the driving thing ........

Susan said...

My car got hit at the DMV, by someone taking their driving test. They failed.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I swear retards work at the DMV. In every fucking state. That must be were they send moronic idiots that can't possibly do anything right.

Looks like I have a bit of a temper too!

April said...

LMAO!!!

Mrs. M said...

I am not allowed to go by myself to the DMV...Hubby is too worried that I'll be arrested.

Sorry you have had a similar experience-but of course I think you're totally justified in flipping out on them!

Madge said...

Haven't been to the DMV in NY, but it sounds horribly like the ones in Maryland -- no fun at all.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh no! City DMVs are the worst. This sounds like the ones I got to enjoy growing up in DC. Now that I live in the burbs, it's a whole new experience. Animated bluebirds escort you to your seat and you are called to the right window minutes later by the sound of wind chimes. Disney princesses fill out paperwork for you and matching prince charmings take your picture (as many times as you like until you get your smile "just right"). Okay - maybe not - but it's A LOT better the city DMVs!!

honeypiehorse said...

Gosh, you know getting your first DL in NY is pretty hard core. Don't be too hard on yourself, these things are sent to try us and make Jerry Seinfeld filthy rich.

namaste said...

i LOVE kate's comment and i second it. city dmv's are an entity unto themselves, filled with outlaws and idiots.

(((HUGS))) i feel your pain. but at least you released years of pent up stuff and came up with funny writing fodder.

;)

Debbie said...

You are kidding! I would have loved to have seen that:)

honeywine said...

ROFL I love it! Where o' where is the YouTube video???

Annie said...

Um, if I had been there I would have applauded you.

Paul and Michele said...

Were you really escorted out?? You are my heroine.

CailinMarie said...

ummm... so I don't know you but you are my hero. WOW!

 
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