Friday, May 8, 2009

My Life of Crime

I was gonna take a bloggy break but then I I went out. I hear the gasps out there. Yes I really went out. Thus here is the after post. Its sort of like the after glow but with typing instead of smoking.

So I went out. We hired a babysitter and everything and went out to a party. OK it really wasn't a party. In fact it was some travel agent event where they tried to hawk expensive vacations that we couldn't afford in a 100 years. But there was free food and drinks so lets call it a party.

So at the party there were tables set up advertising different trips that we would never go on. We walked around and took the small amounts of strange swag they offered. We had luggage locks and bookmarks and even a bandanna. But on this one table they had these banks that were shaped like penguins. They were so cute I could imagine the look of joy on my kids face as I handed them the penguin in the morning. I asked if I could have one but was told no they were just for display.

As the night wore on I got a little tipsy and suddenly that bank looked mighty appealing and before I knew it I had that bank in my grubby little hands. Yes I stole a penguin bank me Suzie the mother, wife and moral compass for the family. I was a thief and whats worse I liked it. I laughed and hid it feeling so bad ass. The old Suzie was back. I was dangerous and wild and the bank was mine. I had done it. I was home free.

When suddenly a hand tapped me on the shoulder.

Give me the bank.

I turned and there was a very angry travel agent stamping her foot in anger and looking like she wanted to kill me.

She grabbed the penguin bank.

Just kidding I stammered.

No you weren't! She said as she walked away in obvious disgust with my thieving ways.

I guess I'm not cut out for a life of crime but for one shining moment that penguin bank was mine...all mine.

18 comments:

Kmommy said...

LOL!! Hilarious!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

What liquid courage will do to you! Too funny! And what's she going to do with a penguin bank anyhow. Give it to the kids, lady!

neb said...

Aw! This is so cute.

adrienne said...

Aw, you didn't want that dumb ol' penguin anyway!
Did you at least stuff your purse with hors d'oeuvres before you left?

TattingChic said...

I think I tried to steal something once when I was a child. I felt so guilty about it that I went and put it back before anybody noticed it was gone, LOL!

Rebecca Ramsey said...

So much for being Bonnie and Clyde!

Susan said...

Glad to know that your evil plans were thwarted. Good prevailed. Apparently even this night out proved to be too much for you...you need baby steps. Seriously though, what a funny post.

namaste said...

LOL!! oh that was hilarious, suzie. i've done something similar under the influence of alcohol. you know that commericial that says, "red bull gives you wings"? well, alcohol gives you balls! great post!

;)

Vered - MomGrind said...

Funny. :)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

It was worth a try.

Ann said...

LMAO...that was a fun read.

Vodka Mom said...

Just stopped to say Happy Mother's day!!!

kari and kijsa said...

Happy Mother's Day blessings,
kari & kijsa

The Mrs. said...

too funny!

and this is why I dont go out...

Debbie said...

That is oh, so funny! I love that you wanted it and loved that you took it!

tiff said...

LOL! A thief in our midst!
Not really, it can't be called theft, can it when you are doing it for your kids?

Maria said...

That is so funny. You should be so proud, lol. Just remember not to rehash that story with your kids as they are late teens, lol.

docgrumbles said...

you are so badass

 
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