Monday, August 4, 2008

Late night Debauchery and Sausages

I woke up this morning and discovered my bra smelled a lot like an Italian sausage? Obviously I was disturbed. I thought it best to retrace my steps to see how and when this occured.

Well I did go to a party last night. I can't remember the last time I went to a party with real grown ups who talked about real grown up things like...well I can't remember what grown ups talk about but I do know it didn't involve Elmo or Thomas the Tank Engine. I was nervous about going. It was a dinner party and I wasn't sure if I could refrain from cutting other peoples food and wiping peoples faces. Plus my hubby was staying home to "babysit" so I was on my own.

I got to the party after a surprisingly calm subway ride (no frantic searching for potties in the underground) and felt a little rusty doing the whole conversing thing. I kept catching myself moving glasses away from the corners of tables and hiding matches lest anyone play with them and set the house on fire. The dinner was pasta with fresh spicy Italian sausage (WAIT A MINUTE!!). I had a glass of wine (maybe two) while the hostess cooked. I ended up feeling a little cooked myself. By the time the food was done I was regaling the party goers with tales about my three day labor with little S and the wonders of epidurals. I looked at my watch and it was 9:30 AT NIGHT!!!!! I don't remember the last time I was awake and partying so late! Yes I am a party animal! Watch out!

However as I look back on this crazy night of 2 glasses of wine, going to bed at 10pm debauchery and pasta I have no recollection of dancing on any tables with a sausage (that sounds bad doesn't it?) and I certainly have no recollection of stuffing any sausages in my bra.

I guess its a mystery best left unsolved.

19 comments:

Kmommy said...

LOL!! When you wake up smelling italian sausages in your bra, you know you had a good time at the party the night before!! :)

Kate said...

Did the rest of your clothes smell like sausage too? Maybe it happened while you were drinking wine in the kitchen with the hostess. Maybe everyone woke up this morning to wonder how an article of their clothing (shirts, more bras, socks, boxers) could end up smelling like Italian sausage...

Good for you getting out even if your husband couldn't make it. I rarely stay up late myself - but I always take advantage of my opportunities to be out with other grownups. I'm generally the one that people are trying to kick out of their house with fake yawns and mentions of how late it is... My friend and I were just discussing how we have always had a problem with staying just a little too long at the party. Often till we're left saying, "hey - where did everyone go?" Smelling like sausage hasn't happened yet - but it's not out of the realm of possibility.

The Mrs. said...

wow 9:30 is late... well to be fully dressed AND wearing a bra, not sitting on the couch in your pjs.

as for the italian sausage, quite a mystery. quite a mystery...

Susan said...

You are so very funny. I like what Kate said, maybe everyone woke smelling of sausages. Give the hubs a thumbs up and an "atta boy" for staying home. Sounds like everyone had a good time. Rock on!

the teach said...

Better Italian sausage in your bra than 2 glasses of wine...oh I don't know that might not be right... :)

MommyWizdom said...

I know I'm a crazy mother when all I can think after reading your very funny post is that poor little S is getting nursed with all that crazy food in your system. I foresee more gas in her near future.

But, dammit, after three days of labor, you sure as heck deserve it. I hope you had a good time!!

Chimera said...

Yeahhhh! I could do with a large italian sausage myself! Oooo errr. (Oy, you started it!)
Very glad you got out and drank wine and had fun. You Deserve It Darling Cuz!
T xxx

forgetfulone said...

You wild woman! I'm glad you got out and had a good time.

Marilyn said...

I think sausage smells good, and trust me, a little
Eau De Jimmy Dean between your breasts will attract more men than Chanel #5 any day!

Vered said...

"t was a dinner party and I wasn't sure if I could refrain from cutting other peoples food and wiping peoples faces."

I love you Suzie. I do. You are so funny. I stumbled this post. Just had to. Thank you for the laugh. :)

My Wonderful Men said...

I remember those days thinking I can't be around adults, I don't know what to say other than lets sing the clean up song or does anyone have to potty. I would die when someone would ask me a question (an adult questions) I had no clue what was going on in the world, the only thing on my tv ever was kids programs.

Glad to hear you got to have a night out alone even if you came home smelly.
Amy

Rebecca Ramsey said...

You are so funny. And girlie, you certainly deserve a night of debauchery and sausages, whether in your bra or not!

honeywine said...

It could have been worse. Think of all the things of which you might have found your bra smelling. lol

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Sure while hubby stays home with the kids, your out messing with an Italian sausage. lol

candeelady said...

Food sausages or carnal sausages?

THopgood said...

Now you smell like my Grandma! LOL.

Mosied on over here from Kristen's Family Tree. It's nice to "meet" you!

Veronica said...

Maybe the Italian sausage was trying to seep out through your pores...

What! It's just a theory.

Heather said...

Well, if you're like I am after two glasses of wine, you probably slopped pasta sauce all over your shirt, and the smell was then absorbed by your bra.

You're brave to go to a dinner party on your own. I must have social phobia, because the very idea of doing something like that by myself scares the crap out of me!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I concur with Heather. I probably would have found a bit of sausage actually *in* my bra, seeing as I am eating like my 2 year old these days. Or it could be the wine messing with my spatial perception....

 
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