My Little Jackson Pollack

I think its amazing how B always gives me enough material to be able to write about him almost every day but he does. I guess he is a talented three year old. In fact this morning when I got to work he and his friend who is the daughter of a teacher at my school were playing in one of the classrooms while his mother and I sat and talked and took care of S and a few other babies. Suddenly it got quiet (always a bad sign) when we went in the classroom both children were in smocks and were painting the jungle gym. They in fact painted the whole slide. What I think is amazing besides the fact that we are both such neglectful parents is that they decided to at least wear smocks while they did it. You can see in the photo B is very very guilty and looks ready to cry while his partner in crime is quite proud of her accomplishments.

Pee Pee Hell- Tales From the Potty

Last night B tells me he has to go potty. I am busy nursing S so I tell him to go ahead without me. It gets really quiet. Too quiet. I finish nursing S put her down and walk into the bathroom. There is B climbing a step ladder with his pants around his ankles trying to pee on the wall. I try to pick him up and move him but it is too late. B begins to pee all over me the walls and toilet everything in the bathroom. I yell to him aim please aim! But he doesn't. I try to aim for him but it doesn't work and the steady stream of pee is relentless. I keep thinking God how much does this child drink during he day? I walk out of the bathroom covered from head to toe. B is covered and there is no place in the bathroom that is not dripping wet. Ain't potty training great.

On the dating front my daughter at 4 months old seems to have started a relationship with another baby. She's already rebelling the boy is not Jewish.

My Little Stunt Man

I got 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night ! Straight! I got up this morning and I had lost 2 pounds. Amazing! I bet if I could get 8 hours sleep I would wake up 5 pounds smaller. I am feeling a little more together today. I can see straight and I have yet to send out a terrible typo to lots and lots of people in an email for work. But there's still time.

B has taken to jumping right over S's head while she lays on the floor with his big clunky shoes. I know one of these days he's gonna land right on her. I keep telling him if he lands on her every time that short bus pulls up he'll know its his fault but that doesn't seem to impress him. He's even taken to doing it at school with other babies. Perhaps he is preparing to be an EvelKnievel type of guy and is practicing jumping over the Grand Canon. He also saw someone on TV doing stunts for about two seconds and now talks endlessly about getting a parachute. I'm glad we live on the first floor.

This constant danger is why S has learned to crawl at 4 months of age. She shimmies on her back with her legs pushing her along. Its takes a long time and doesn't get her too far but could end up saving her in a pinch.

I hope!

Please Sir May I Have Some Sleep

Today I am frazzled and sort of miserable. I was up again every two and half hours. I woke up and thought my life is just falling to pieces but then I thought maybe I am just delirious from no consecutive sleep. I mean I am sure they use this sort of torture in Gantanimo Bay. I keep hoping someone will come and offer me a full nights sleep but it never happens. Even on the weekend everyone gets to nap but me.

Last night I was sitting at home after a full days work with my kids. S would cry every time I got up. B was hungry. The laundry needed to be put away so did all the dishes. The dinner needed to be cooked, diapers needed to be changed, baths needed to be given. The dog needed a walk the apartment was a mess and I was alone and supposed to do it all. Somehow on top of this I am supposed to lose 40 pounds be well dressed and get it all together to run a school every day. I was just so overwhelmed I wanted to cry.

I'm not sure how people do this. I read blogs all the times of women who overcome horrific odds, run a family and work smiling all the time. I feel like I am barely holding it together most of the time and counting down the days to what I do not know. I love having my baby. I love holding her soft sweet smelling body next to mine. I even love the little squeak she does as she poos. She is more wonderful than I ever imagined she could be. I love my son so much I can barely breath. I love hearing his silly stories and watching his goofy dances. I love his gooey kisses on my cheek. I wouldn't trade them in for the world. I know I am lucky But hell I am so exhausted and overwhelmed I've never worked so hard in my life and I am a very hard worker. I hope I hope it gets easier or I figure out a better way to deal with this all.

I Cant Catch a Break

Sometimes it is the simple things I long for most. Like the ability to go to the potty without a little voice sweetly chiming Mommy...Mommy... Mommy...MOMMY I HAVE TA USE THE POTTY! MOMMY I GOTTA USE THE POTTY! I GOTTA GO! And as I run out I hear the dreaded comment "Don't have to go no more. Nothings coming out." Which of course results in wet shoes 10 min later.

So on Mondays I get to work with the wonderful expectation of using the potty all alone for a just a few beautiful minutes. I might even be able to wash my hands and not have to resort to Purell. So this morning I go and the minute I get settled I hear my co worker standing out side the bathroom. She jiggles the handle. I hear her sigh. She sighs louder and then announces "Who's in there I gotta go!" She proceeds to tell anyone who passes by she has to go and someone is always in there. I step out and pull rank. "Its me I'm your boss! I'm using the potty!" (Yes I said potty) I close the door and try to settle back in but its just not the same.

My Big Scary Stroller

I often curse my Phil and Ted stroller as being a rotten, stupid, huge, back breaking stroller but today I must sing its praises. My stroller kicks ass in the snow. I laughed as other strollers were stuck and moms pushed and cursed. I flew over snow dunes, I laughed at the hills and ice. It Rocked! Bring on the baby x games I am there with my big wheels and solid traction. My stroller can kick any other strollers butt.

My Life In Verse

I am feeling very sorry for myself as of late so I have created this poem to express my pain and general angst (and hunger) but really just to complain.

I'm so blue
What can I do
My weight is high
my cholesterol to the sky
We didn't get the apartment on which we bid
One bathroom with four of us what a way to live
My shoes are ugly
some friends are acting fugly
and I just wanna cry
or eat a big plate of cheese fries
The End

Not so great. Perhaps I could try this as a Limerick:

There once was a girl from New York
Who wanted cheese fries with a fork
She had ugly shoes
and her weight, health, bathroom situation, mean friends and general angst, gave her the blues
so she decided to give in and pork

Even worse. How about as a Haiku:

Cheese fries I love you
I am sad everything sucks
Boo hoo poor poor me

Much better.

My Poor Foot

I went to the foot doctor today and he would not give me a shot in my foot. Instead I must wear big ugly clunker shoes. Not that I was a fashion queen before but I am certainly not one now. I guess its all a part of getting old. Making that long slow trek to the bingo table (actually bingo sounds like fun.) eating the soft pudding (sounds pretty good too) wearing the housecoat of life (mmm.. comfy). OK maybe I'm actually old now or just plain tired. Anyway here is another gratuitous shot of B.

Why Do That?

Some grown up people in my life are just being awful. The drama these adults try to create both in my social life and professional life is just plain silly. Life in my opinion is dramatic enough without creating situations that just don't exsist. When I was younger I used to think that kind of thing was fun stirring up silly trouble. But now I am just too tired and too busy for all of that. But it did manage to get me down and made me blue. B came and sat on my lap and gave me kisses. He told me a story about a dragon and how he rescued me from a castle. S batted her beautiful blue eyes and held on tight to my finger and all was right with the world again...at least until we get home and all hell breaks loose.