Friday, November 7, 2008

Where Has She Gone?

I don't know what happened. I used to be such a good mom. The type of that mom you see on that commercial where the boy accidentally sprays his mom with orange soda and instead of her yelling at him gleefully gets into a soda fight with her son. The type of mom who surveys her orange coated kitchen and hums a little tune while cleaning it up all the while singing boys will be boys doo dee doo.

I don't know what went wrong. Where that happy, gleefully, mommy went? And why has she been replaced with a very cranky, unpleasant, tired, woman who seems to yell at the drop of a hat?

I have changed.

No longer do I find delight in stories that start and I end with "Can I have 9 bananas today?" and continue on for 45 minutes.

No longer am I content to watch my son lick the bathroom mirror slowly when we are already 20 min late for school.

No longer do I clap my hands with joy as my daughter sits in the dogs water bowl and emerges soaking wet when all her other clothes are in the washer.

I don't know what happened. I still love my kids. I still love being their mom. But the woman who marveled at what an artists little B would become as I surveyed the picture B drew in poo on his bedroom wall. She is gone. Long gone.

40 comments:

Kristin H. said...

I see myself in your post. At least the "self" that I used to be. Your in the trenches right now, Suzie. You're going to have to take my word on it. The ages of your children are some of the most difficult. It will get better. Trust me.

Aunt LoLo said...

Really? Really, and truly, those things were funny...after the first time?

Man, I've got some work to do!!! I think those things are funny on OTHER people's blogs...and they're funny when I BLOG about them....but...yeah. You're a better Mama than I if you were that way long enough to miss it!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I see myself in your post. Because of the circumstances of my life I have been through one too many disasters and it has changed me. Im not the happy person everyone always enjoyed being around. I was the special cupcake mom and the romance maker wife. Now I just seem to be tired and angry. you are not alone.

TattingChic said...

Uhmmm...where did she go? The mom who got in the soda fight with her kid? She went home after filming the commercial, got paid a hefty sum and the set guys cleaned it up! That's where she went! People like that don't really exist...and do we really want to be teaching our children that it's okay to spray women with soda??? What would society be like with children running around spraying people with soda's??? ROFLOL! It's okay to not get in soda fights with your kids.
:) Have a great weekend and don't be so hard on yourself!

Rebecca Ramsey said...

She's gone here too.
And what's with that nutty commercial? I think that soda lady has lost her marbles--or she's taken one too many happy pills.

Erin said...

I was never that mom. I wish I could be her one day. Maybe with my grandkids...

Brooke said...

Your not the only one! I cant seem to find my Happy self anywhere lately.

Heather said...

You're not alone Suzie. I'm a big crab lately myself.

Also, I always hated that stupid orange soda commercial. Completely unrealistic and ridiculous, if you ask me.

April said...

i find it takes a concerted effort and some serious regrouping to enjoy things like this sometimes. when i feel myself getting annoyed i try to take a deep breath and make myself see the circumstance in a new light. sometimes it works, sometimes not... but it does seem to help. sorry you're not feeling like yourself.

Mrs Parks said...

Don't worry, she'll be back : )

Madge said...

completely normal process of evolution

Ren said...

Oh Suzie, I am right there with you. I think my daughter's first words will be "NO! Get off that!"

I'm hoping for the both us it'll get better soon!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I was thinking the same thing a minute ago while considering throwing out the Jenga blocks rather than putting them back into the box.

honeywine said...

Yep, watching poop dry does tend to take a little romance out of having kids. lol

Valarie said...

Shot, you know I am not that Mom :)

Do you ever just sit and look around in the amazement of the things they can destroy in such little time?

Kmommy said...

LOL!! That mom is gone around here too! Stress will take away lots of patience!

Mama Smurf said...

I don't know where that gleeful mamma went. I wouldn't know cuz I've never met her. Her face has never graced my family with her presense.

I'm affectionately known as the "fun crusher" in my house. And I wear that title with pride thankyouverymuch!

Debbie said...

I bet that mom is still in there - tired and taking a nap.

Maggie said...

You need a vacation with no kids!! I get that way too; sometimes my boys drive me completely NUTS!!! Love them like crazy, but some days enough is enough. And poo on the wall, yeah, I would have lost it on that one, too!! =S

Hang in there and have yourself a great weekend!!! =)

Jannie said...

The waxing and waning of Momdom, the bad stuff will pass. I promise.

Yes, hang in there.

And that orange soda mom - she is a total lie.

Alexis said...

I found that it was much easier to be joyful mom when I only had one child. Now I have three, and I love them dearly but I am TIRED!

WillThink4Wine said...

Well, poo will do that to you.

Don't worry, honey. This too shall pass. Even Stella got her groove back.

Kate said...

I keep wondering when I started yelling so much. I don't think I ever used to yell... But now it's like my go to parenting skill. And it's not like it's even all that effective. It usually just cracks everyone up. I need to work on my scary faces.

Mark said...

Thank you for sharing. Have a nice weekend. :)

Brandi said...

Just as interesting as your post is the plethora of great advice from your real mom readers reminding you that you are normal! Heck, I think all those 'fun moms' must meet somewhere in another world where they drink wine and laugh at the situations the 'reals moms' are in.

Brandi said...

Just as interesting as your post is the plethora of great advice from your real mom readers reminding you that you are normal! Heck, I think all those 'fun moms' must meet somewhere in another world where they drink wine and laugh at the situations the 'reals moms' are in.

Heidi said...

That's me too, although I think I was only that mom in my head. :) I can't seem to remember a time when orange soda all over the kitchen would have done anything but made my head explode. ;) But I definitely WANT to be that mom.
Maybe someday......

Chimera said...

maaan..you dreamed that other mum!
T x

adrienne said...

Call the babysitter!

Vered - MomGrind said...

I can relate. I think we just got tired. It's natural. Parenting is EXHAUSTING.

Lance said...

It's been said, but I'll say it again - being a parent is tiring work. Sometimes that which most excites us as parents is when "nothing" happens. That said, I bet that spirit is still within - just tucked away at the moment - and I think it will return...

Ali said...

One word,love: EXHAUSTED!

Vodka Mom said...

I know what happened. you are living your life. AND, your disausted. me, too.

autumnesf said...

She's not gone, she's just in a different "season". When the kids get a little bigger it gets a little more fun again....with other challenges.

Purpled Sky said...

LOL-this is hilarious! I mean if I were in your place, I don't know if I'd still know me -- but you present the situation in such good humor.

Art piece done in poo, huh? You should've snapped a pic and show it to him when he's all grown up :-)

Tina said...

looks like you have came to that breaking point now!

i used to be like that, but lately im so frustrated and angry!

it must be a mommy disease spreading!

Susan said...

It happens, my mom went from being that kind of mom, to tossing all our things out on the front lawn because we would not clean up our rooms.

Cristina Mathers said...

ohhhhh i hear ya on this one. i have 2 kids under the age of three and i have to keep reminding myself that it must get easier than this, right? i mean the thought of them being more independent is the only thing that gets me through some days! well, that and good wine!

tiff said...

You're talking about me, right?

April said...

I completely get that.

 
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