Monday, April 7, 2008

Crisco and Flop Sweat

This morning when I got to work S immediately did a big messy poo as she always does when she is wearing an especially cute outfit. I had her dressed in a jeans skirt with back tights. She looked cute and sort of tough all at the same time. I pulled off her tights to change her diapers and noticed she had a rash all over her legs. It was red and covered her knees and thighs in little clusters.

Now I like to think of myself as a rational person level headed and calm. But when I saw that rash rational mommy was standing on some wobbly legs. As a director of a preschool I've seen it happen with others. That calm refined woman who calmly runs a corporation with ease who can face any stress with humor and grace is replaced by a weepy manic when faced with a bite mark or bruise on their child. As a professional I hold myself to a higher standard when it comes to my kids but as I looked at that rash and S began to cry I felt my sanity retreat my heart rate began to increase. I developed tunnel vision. "Must get her to the doctor" I croaked. As I stepped away from the changing table. Visions of mumps and measles went thorough my head. Long hospital stays and horrible procedures seemed immanent.

I strapped her in the carrier and began the four block run to my doctors office. I pushed past business men and office workers who in their morning rush were in blissful ignorance of my baby's affliction. I arrived at the office panting and near hysterics. By the time I saw the doctor I was in a full out flop sweat.

"Look at my baby!" I cried exposing the rash to the light of the examination room. I waited as she prodded and pocked S. S cried and knocked at her hands.

"No idea! Maybe prickly heat and a small case of eczema. You can slather some crisco on the eczema and keep her tights off for the rest of the day."The doctor declared.

"You re sure its not measles, mumps malaria?" I exclaimed as I white knuckled the examination table. "Nope probably prickly heat. Those tights can be really hot."

As I walked out clutching little S to my chest I thought from now on I'm gonna keep it together no more nutty Mommy for me...I think I could hear Insane Mommy snicker as she retreated to my subconscious ready for another day.


the teach said...

Oh Suzie, how DO you do it! I'd have to be admitted to an institution by the end of a day of yours! :D

Madge said...

nine year! i've been at this NINE year and insane crazy mommy still rears her ugly head all. the. time.

Marlee said...

Tights do the same thing to me. Never tried Crisco though... ;)

Veronica said...

Insane Mummy reared it's head here when Amy had an unexplained rash.

Hers turned out to be German Measles (rubella).

frog ponds rock... said...

Don't worry.. I have gone from 'insanse mummy' to 'psycho granny'.

hehehehe cheers kim

Person(Also Known As Mommy) said...

We are the WORST. We're totally paranoid overprotective parents. Seriously-I had to work on my husband for MONTHS to allow our son to use PAPER when he was nearing 2 years old.

Hubby's argument? He draws just fine on his magna doodle and paper cuts are TRUELY PAINFUL.

P.S. You ARE the BIG WINNER! So let me know if you want a blog design or a week in my sidebar. Congrats :)

trying said...

i always wonder what they write in the file as I leave the dr's office. I'm always relieved when a few weeks later they'll take my kids for an apt!

HRH said...

Insane mommy resides here as well.

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