Last night I went out by myself to read and have a martini...I mean coffee and read a book for a few minutes of alone time. A very rare thing by the way. They had these wonderful bread sticks at the bar I mean coffee shop. I grabbed one and started chomping away and part of it fell down my shirt and down my very large and ugly nursing bra. (When I take this thing off at night I find parts of muffins, Altoids and even pretzels down the front of it.) I started picking bread stick out of my bra when I looked up and saw this man looking at me. He smiled. Believe it or not he was flirting with me.
I remember a time when I would walk past construction sites and be barraged with cat calls and lurid suggestions and now nothing. Its like a woman with a handful of crying babies with baby food and snot sticking to her clothes wearing maternity clothes cause she still hasn't lost the baby weight, is just invisible. Its sort of sad and now I find myself sort of missing those cat calls. Is that terrible?
Anyway here I was not invisible in fact I was being looked at in that way. I was shocked. So shocked in fact that when I went to take a sip of my drink I spilled it down the front of my shirt. So now I had soggy bread sticks down my bra and a martini I mean coffee dripping off my face and shirt. Boy I am one sexy chick. When I went home I told my husband about my adventure he made some wonderful comment like of course he thought you were sexy you're a very sexy woman (I love my hubby). Then he paused and said but you might want to check the mirror you have a green thing between your front teeth.
Boy I sure do know how to turn the sexy on.
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16 comments:
Suzie, you crack me up! You always crack me up! Whether you're talking about yourself or the kids! I am picturing the bread stick falling down into your bra and you looking for it Bhwahahahahaha!
I'm sorry about my Wordless Wednesday on Tuesday post. Come back and click on the blue word "HERE" and you'll get taken to the post...
LOL!!! What a night!! Nursing bras are horrendous ;) they do tend to catch every crumb :)
Hilarious! That is so funny, sounds like something that would happen to me.
I love this. Once I was in the airport and I thought, "wow, people are checking me out. I must look good." Then I went into the rest room and saw in the mirror my black eye --- obtained when my toddlar threw his sippy cup at me as hard as he could -- and I was only six inches away from him. lovely.
That's hilarious!
I think men tend to be a lot more forgiving than we are. We are so hard on ourselves.
I love to flirt and I'm glad you had the opportunity to flirt. We are moms... but we are also women!
Once, after Bee was born, I ran to the grocery store in a rush, because my husband could only watch her for a few minutes before he went back to work, and I really wanted to go ALONE.
People kept staring at me, and I was getting mad. I kept thinking, "WHAT is their problem?!" Finally, this woman I knew, who worked there as a cashier, came up and whispered, "Heather, the top of your boob is showing." Not only had I buttoned my shirt wrong, but I forgot to fasten the flap on my nursing bra. Free peep show! Woo hoo!
See, we've all been there.
I gave up on trying to look sexy anymore. But you shouldn't! You're young, and as much as you think you look "mommy-ish" you obviously still "got it."
Very suave.
On the upside, sounds like you have a built in midnight snack generator!
OMGosh. I'm sorry, but that was funny! Give yourself a break, you'll get back on track. Just don't give up. And kudos to your husband who still loves you even with green stuff in your teeth!
I just noticed, we have the same Exersaucer. Isn't that crazy?
that's too funny! sounds about like something that would happen to me- although mine usually involves tripping or running into something while I'm being checked out. ;)
you sex kitten you! Its odd when motherhood takes over so much of our lives.... I remember people looking twice at me and now they are just staring at me as I chase my kids. sigh. what has life become!
I never felt as unattractive as I did after I had my kids. I know that not every mom feels that way. But I went from thin to fat at the speed of light. Also, I breast fed for a long time; and you're right, those nursing bras are lacking in the sexy. I just couldn't get the sexy back. Now with my kids 4 and 6, I feel like I'm starting to get the magic back. The weight hasn't come off, but I am starting to identify with myself as being not just a mommy. I have always been "not just a mommy," but it's hard to remember that when you're in the trenches.
Ha ha ha ha ha....
Did I mention? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!
So funny! And so very true. I'm not even sure I could make a sexy face now if I wanted to.... I used to feel...well, attractive and now, I'm thrilled to be clean and dressed :) Oh..the sacrifices...
If I lived on your side of the continent, there would be many more martini, I mean coffee, dates!
But it's not just moms who feel invisible and sexless - us single, middle aged girls (I mean me) do too, without a good excuse, except say age, and why put on makeup, and choosing clothes from the dirty pile on the floor, and this morning I realized I hadn't brushed my hair in days and couldn't find the hairbrush.
So what happened? Me with no makeup and greasy hair and dirty clothes at work? A cute guy, new to town, comes in and wants to talk. What did I do? I burped, LITERALLY.
So it's not just the babies!
ROFL! I remember those sexy nursing bras. They are way too sexy for Victoria's secret, ina league all their own ;)
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