Monday, June 2, 2008

The Monster Strikes Again

This weekend my wonderful son was once again replaced with the dreaded monster. I have no idea what happened when the monster arrived but he had a great time. He threw chocolate milk at our baby sitter. He peed in the bank he peed on the carpet and he peed on the side of the crib (from the outside!). The monster tried to push the swimming teacher into the pool. He ripped off all his clothes in Bed Bath and Beyond and pooped on the floor.

I tried everything to get through to the monster. I tried talking threatening, yelling, time outs, consequences, Every time I tried to talk, threaten, cajole, time out the monster he would look up at the sky and chant …Nya nya nya. Obviously a monster war cry.

Finally I bought the monster a hot dog for lunch. (I know I know bad Mommy hot dogs are evil but I was desperate). The monster took the hot dog and threw it at my hubby and clocked him right between the eyes. That was it. I picked that monster up threw him over my shoulder and carried him right out of the eating establishment. I took him outside and that monster looked at me and I saw fear in its eyes. I took out my pointer finger you know the angry one and I waved it in that monsters face.

I was at the end of my rope the edge of my ledge the corner of my microwave shelf metaphorically speaking. I yelled and waved and pointed and tried very very hard not to whack that monster right in the seat of the pants. Finally after what seemed like a life time of yelling and finger waving that monster seemed to shrink. He backed up and ran away and my sweet little boy looked up at me and said I’m sorry mommy. I don’t know why but it had worked. Maybe it was the malice in my eyes or I had hypnotized him with my finger but whatever it was I had won the monster was gone….at least for today!

11 comments:

the teach said...

Oh Suzie, I give you a LOT of credit for meing the good mommie you are! :D

Kristin H. said...

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. He's not the boss of you, and you let him know that. Hopefully it sticks. Good luck and keep us posted.

Vered said...

I think he knew, by the look in your eyes and your body language, that you meant business.

I also think that kids KNOW when they have rightfully earned some "tough love", and I do think that sometimes it's just necessary.

I also wonder if it would have been easier on us if we were "allowed" to spank our kids - but as your story demonstrates, becoming physical is not really necessary - you can convey the same message with your words, and your eyes, and your body language.

WillThink4Wine said...

It was the pointy finger! It must be some sort of magic wand with special Mommy-Magic-Dust! haha!

Heather said...

Oh dear, this sounds like Cakes. At Bee's recital, she ran up and down the aisles, tried to climb up on the stage, pulled petals off the flowers I brought, and had a tantrum in the middle of a beautiful solo. My hand was itching to give her a swat on the behind. It took all of my willpower not to.

Next time, I'm gonna try waving the angry pointer finger. That seemed to work for you.

docgrumbles said...

may the monster stay away for a bit...

leigh said...

Hi, I just came across your blog and this was too funny! It sounds just like my 4yr old daughter. I loved the part about the hypnotizing. :)

the teach said...

Suzie, I have an award for you at my blog!

forgetfulone said...

Those monsters get us every time with their little eyes looking at us so sweetly and their sincere "I'm sorry Mommy" voices. I thought the monster only lived at my house, but he's made a visit to yours. Kids seem to know exactly when to quit, though.

BTW, I have something for you on my blog.

HRH said...

I have been on the "corner of my microwave shelf" many times myself...I just didn't know what to call it. LOL. LOL. LOL!

Monster taming is very demanding work...I think you made some serious progress.

Kmommy said...

man oh man. I, along with the teach, commend you for being a good mommy and not completely losing it. boy does my son know that pointy finger too... and he uses it to mock me sometimes ;)

 
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