Monday, March 17, 2008

SHOW US YOUR BOOBZ!!!" or "EXCLUSIVE interview with love child of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama

For the last 6 years we have been trying to buy the apartment next door to us. Presently all four of us live in 1000 square feet with one potty. While this is much better than a lot of people in Manhattan the whole situation feels a little tight.

When I was a kid I thought if I ever had kids I would have a house. The kids would run downstairs in the morning and eat sugary cereal while watching smellovision while my filthy rich and totally hunky husband would snuggles close upstairs. We would warm up the hover car and sail off into sky for a picnic on Mars. Instead Manhattan real estate has created our reality of having to sit in the dark until the kids are asleep for fear of waking them and waiting for long periods of time for a chance to use the potty.

We have it better than most. I know lots of people who share 600 square feet for a family of five. My friend sleeps in the same bed with her 10 year old son a boa constrictor, two gerbils, one goldfish and cat. We are truly blessed but I REALLY WANT THAT APARTMENT NEXT DOOR.

So for the last 6 years we've been trying to convince this guy to sell. Finally he agrees to but at this insane price. I mean you could get a mansion for this price anywhere else. The place is small and run down but it would be heaven for us. We scrape together just enough money when some dipstick comes a long and bids for it. Now we are faced with sinking everything into this apartment I mean every scrap of savings we have or losing it to some rich teenager.

I have no idea what to do. I want it. I mean really want it. But what if Manhattan is blown into the sea or aliens from Venus take over Manhattan and every sent is tied up in this place? We would be penniless. My dream besides the hover car and smellovision (I do have the hunky husband) is to leave this rotten city and live somewhere where people are nice and we could have a house. However my hunky husband does not share my dream. So what to do? Whatever is gonna happen its gonna happen this week. Is it bad to hope this teenager is taken to Venus or is blown into the sea? Cause I do!

By the way thanks for the advice on getting more comments I love the title.


Anonymous said...

Gnad (the opposite of Dang) dear,
Go for the house in the country. The children could grow up free range instead of battery farmed.
I love your comments on my blog. Very bloody funny. but I want more MORE I tells ya! I too am going to put boobs on my blog...perhaps mine own.
I am on tenderhooks as to what is going to happen with the flat....!
Cuz xxx

postacademic said...

Hey - do you go over and read Tits List? (on my list of blogs)? she gets a lot of hits w. the boobs thing.

The apartment thing is hard. It'll make your life where you are better - and you've wanted it for so long. Is this guy willing to negotiate at all?

We are THAT family said...

Thanks for visiting my site-I'm so glad because it helped me find yours! Don't give up on that apartment!

Gerbil said...

Ummm... i guess i would invite really bad karma to make a Rich Teenager Voodoo doll, wouldn't it?

Person(Also Known As Mommy) said...

I don't know..that's a rough call. I'd hope for the teenager to move to Venus but that hardly sounds practical.

I know how you feel though-the four of us live in 800 square feet. We had to GET RID OF OUR COUCH because there wasn't enough room for Monkey to play in our kitchen/dining room/living room (oh yes, it's all-in-one for our "convinience"). We're looking to move too.

Here's hoping something works out for both of us!

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